


as the stars align

by rujubees



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2020-06-26 18:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rujubees/pseuds/rujubees
Summary: Brooke Lynn Hytes is one of Hollywood’s top A-Listers with a reputation for being a diva. Newcomer Vanessa Mateo is fresh off her debut role and already making a splash in the industry. When they get cast as lovers for an oscar-worthy script, their on-screen chemistry is a director’s dream come true.There’s only one problem: they completely, unequivocally and unapologetically cannot stand one another.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Branjie fic! I know nothing about the film industry so sorry for inaccuracies, get ready to suspend your disbelief a lot tbh since this is about a universe in which B and V are actually good actors.
> 
> I have the whole thing mapped out and at the moment it's looking to be at least 10 chapters so buckle up. I'll try to update every few days!

Brooke Lynn had barely taken the first sip of her morning coffee when Nina thrusted a pile of paper into her arms.

“ _As The Stars Align?_ What the hell is this, Nina?” 

“Brooke, you’re such a bad lesbian,” Nina scolded with an eye roll and a chuckle. “It’s Katya Zamolodchikova’s newest script based on her novel about two female astronauts who fall in love. And it’s _good._ ”

Brooke held the script contemplatively, her eyes fluttering over the story outline, fingers flicking through the pages. Despite her brief early morning amnesia, she _did_ know who Katya Zamolodchikova was — everybody did. She was a rare example of an author who had been able to permeate the heteronormative industry with LGBT driven stories, and have her publications be received with both critical and commercial success. Brooke wasn’t usually one for romance novels, but even she had read some of Katya’s works, and she had to admit that they were of surprisingly high quality.

And the lead character description of a woman who was ‘reserved and mysterious’ among other things was undoubtedly perfect for her. From the way Nina was excitedly rambling about that very fact, she was one step away from telling her that the character had been written with Brooke in mind.

“You have to audition, B. They just announced that Michelle Visage is directing and the online buzz is unlike anything I’ve seen for a movie of this scale before. This thing is Oscar-worthy, Brooke, I’m telling you.”

Brooke scoffed, drawing back from her coffee for the first time since Nina had arrived.

“An interracial love story between two women set in space? Yeah, that’s bound to be a hit with all the old, straight, white men in the Academy.” She pushed the script down the long, marble bar the pair sat at in Brooke’s kitchen and got up to refill her coffee. Truthfully, she didn’t care about awards or what a bunch of crusty dudes thought of her in any capacity. But it had been so long since she’d had a project which she was genuinely passionate about — one had not came along since the groundbreaking movies that had made her the star she was. These days, she was established, sure, but the last few years had led her down a hole of constantly being reduced to the trophy wife in male-dominated dramas or the blonde bimbo in vapid heterosexual rom-coms. It would hurt for her to get her hopes up high at the idea of finally landing a role of substance, only to have her dreams dashed at the last minute, once again being overlooked in favour of someone younger or prettier or more talented.

“Who cares about the Academy?” Nina exclaimed, watching exasperatedly as Brooke Lynn flopped back into to the seat opposite her. “This thing is gonna be huge no matter what. If it’s not an awards season candidate, at least it’ll be a box office smash. If it’s not a box office smash, it’ll still be important representation to all the little gay girls and boys who _need_ representation like a lead lesbian character being played by an actual LGBT person. Don’t you wanna be a part of that?”

Brooke smiled softly at Nina, meeting the other woman’s eyes and realising how passionate she was about this. How much she cared. She was straight, but she just _got it._ It wasn’t that often that Brooke came across a real, ride-or-die ally in show-business, and it was the reason Brooke Lynn had hired her as her manager almost on-sight. It was also part of why Nina was her best friend.

“You got me there, bitch,” Brooke replied with a smirk, chuckling as Nina’s eyes immediately began lighting up and her face broke out into a wide grin. Brooke’s own smile began to falter the more she considered Nina’s point.

“I’m not even, like, out-out though,” she said, her eyes dropping to her hands, which Nina quickly covered with her own. “They deserve better than me.”

“Only because you won’t dignify invasive speculation about your sexuality with an answer, rightfully so by the way, and you’ve never been in a public relationship. You’ll get there.”

“ _Public?_ Girl, I’ve never been in a relationship, _Period._ We’re a long way off from _public_ ,” Brooke responded with a sigh. She pulled the script back and began flipping through it again, regretting allowing the conversation to turn this personal. 

A few seconds passed without Nina saying anything.

“I know you’re doing that thing with your face again,” Brooke said, before peeking over the top of her script and letting herself take in the inevitable look of concern the other woman was communicating.

“Nina, I’m fine, I promise. That’s not me anyway.” 

Nina didn’t look convinced, but didn’t press the issue any further, much to Brooke’s relief.

“Look. I’ll do the audition,” Brooke conceded, and Nina burst out into applause, the prior topic apparently already forgotten. 

—

Brooke stood before Katya Zamolodchikova, Michelle Visage, and Asia O’Hara, who she’d previously learned would be serving as an executive producer and casting director on the movie. The audition had gone well.

Or at least that’s what she assumed from the huge, incredibly white, toothy grin Katya was giving her right now, and she knew her characters better than anyone after all. Asia was also displaying an impressed smile, and Michelle’s suspicious, reluctant expression from earlier was long gone.

“Well?” Brooke Lynn prompted as she crossed her arms, trying not to let on how badly she wanted this role. Normal protocol would mean that she wouldn’t find anything out about her chances until days, weeks, maybe even months later, but nothing about this trio struck her as conventional in their ways.

“I fucking love you,” Katya announced, and Brooke was pretty sure that if she had still been drinking her coffee she would’ve choked on it.

“Obviously,” Brooke commented.

“I’m serious, bitch. I want you to do the chemistry read later this week.”

“Who’s the other girl?” Brooke asked, unable to stop curiosity filling her voice. 

“Right now, we’re interested in Vanessa Mateo,” Asia said. Brooke had heard the name a lot in certain circles over the last year or so, but she didn’t think she’d seen her in anything or that she would be able to picture what she looked like. She didn’t keep up enough with latest in Hollywood as much as she used to, didn’t have many close friends in the industry, and it was easy for hot topics to escape her attention. 

Later that day, once Brooke got home, she tried to find out as much as she could about Vanessa Mateo. She learnt that she was five years younger than her at twenty four, and was Puerto Rican but grew up in Florida. So far, she had only been in one feature length movie — the biggest indie hit of last year which had even captured Brooke Lynn’s attention with its trailer before she had forgotten all about it. 

She also discovered that Vanessa was possibly the most beautiful person she had ever seen, and this was coming from a woman who had worked in LA for over fifteen years. She tried not to dwell on that part as she scrolled through her potential co-star’s wikipedia page, her eyes dropping to the ‘personal life’ section, which said that Vanessa had a boyfriend. In fact, she was still dating her college sweetheart, information which Brooke tried to suppress an eye roll at. 

Brooke jumped as she was interrupted by the jarring sound of her phone ringtone; Nina had managed to book her in for a chemistry read with Vanessa for the following Tuesday. Regretfully, Brooke closed her browser tabs and pulled her script from her bag, alongside the shiny new copy of _Stars Align_ novel that she had been presented with at the audition. For once, the feeling of dread that usually preceded Brooke’s work reading was replaced by a tentative sense of optimism.

—

Vanessa had passed the first rounds of auditions. She couldn’t believe it. She hadn’t managed to land anything beyond a few minor TV roles here and there since she got her big break last year, and she was beginning to think that maybe she just wasn’t made for the big screen, no matter how many times her friends had reassured her that she was just being dramatic. She still had the chemistry read to go, but the hard part was over.

“Congratu-fucking-lations, Vanjie,” Silky said as soon as she broke the news, her and A’keria immediately engulfing her in a group hug.

“Don’t jump the gun, bitch, they haven’t cast me yet,” Vanessa replied, struggling to hold back her smile anyway. 

“ _Yet_ being the operative word,” A’keria pointed out. The trio finally shuffled into Vanessa’s studio apartment, Vanessa having been unable to stop herself from spilling to them before they got inside. 

“Have you told Matt yet?” Silky asked, her eyebrows raised questionably. Vanessa sighed, her boyfriend having barely crossed her mind the entire day. She knew that it was natural; they were long past the honeymoon phase in their relationship, and she would just have to accept that they weren’t getting the romance they once shared back. Well, it had never quite been passion and fireworks and roses, but it had been sweet. Fun. Matt was always one of her favourite people to spend time with. She couldn’t say the same thing now, even though she still cared for him. But he had gone above and beyond to support her through her rise to fame, and Vanessa knew that she’d never find anyone as genuine as him again. She’d already dealt with the pain of having people befriend her, only to go on to realise that they were simply in it for her new status and money. What she had with Matt was good, she told herself. She loved him.

“I ain’t telling Matt shit until it’s official. And don’t you do it either,” Vanessa warned Silky with a stern look. 

Silky pouted, pulling Vanessa onto the couch as A’keria popped open the first bottle she could find and poured them each a glass.

“We’re so proud of you, sis,” A’keria smiled, raising her champagne.

“To Vanessa Vanjie motherfuckin’ Mateo,” Silky exclaimed, clinking their glasses together.

“Y’all are the worst, I swear. They might pick some other hoe still if this Brooke Lynn chick don’t vibe with me.”

“You’re gonna be in a movie with Brooke Lynn Hytes?! Why didn’t you open with that?!” Silky exclaimed. 

“ _Because!_ What if she doesn’t want it to be me? I heard she only had to audition one time. Clearly, if it comes down to it, it’s her they’re going with, not me.”

“She’ll love you, Vanj, everybody does,” Silky said. 

Vanessa sighed. She knew she was getting ahead of herself with this gig, and that she shouldn’t have shared with Silky and A’keria before she knew anything for certain. It was gonna make it even harder to get over the inevitable disappointment, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Silky’s right. Girl, I’m telling you, that’s not what you gotta worry about. If it’s you and Miss Brooke Lynn… good luck, is all I’m saying,” A’keria tutted cryptically.

“She won’t need luck, have you _seen_ Brooke? The bitch is hot,” Silky added unhelpfully.

“Kiki, don’t be vague. The fuck you talking about?” Vanessa asked, determined to grill A’keria for all she knew about her potential future co-star.

“Well, you know what people say. She’s just a bit of a diva, ice-queen type. You know what, ignore me, it’s probably just some kind of sexist fuckery anyway.”

Vanessa didn’t know what to think. She had seen Brooke in a few things — mostly stuff from years ago that made her a household name — but she knew little about the woman who had brought all of those characters to life. All that she knew was that Brooke Lynn was stunning, that the acclaim her acting received was more than justified, and that she was notorious for being a closed book. It may have not been much, but it was certainly enough to make Vanessa intrigued.

—

Vanessa was more nervous than she’d ever been as she knocked on the studio door at twelve o’clock on the dot, and was greeted with nothing but inaudible murmurs. At a loss for what to do next, she began contemplating her next move, but was quickly pulled from her thoughts as a tall blonde in her peripheral vision caught her attention. She turned towards the woman, who was wearing dark jeans, a grey turtleneck sweater, and had sunglasses sat a top her head. Her bleached blonde hair was styled in a wavy bob, and she was holding a Starbucks cup, her eyes giving nothing away as they met Vanessa’s. Although she was dressed casually, she still managed to have an aura of glamour about her.

“You must be Brooke Lynn?” Vanessa asked, forgoing usual greetings.

“Hi,” Brooke Lynn said nonchalantly as the two women approached each other.

“I’m Vanessa.”

“I know. Just Brooke is fine, by the way.” 

“Cool. Nice to meet you, Just Brooke,” Vanessa retorted with a smirk. For a second, she thought she saw a crack in Brooke’s neutral exterior, but it must’ve just been a trick of the light as a millisecond later Brooke was looking straight up unimpressed with Vanessa’s admittedly slightly lame attempt at an ice-breaker. She frowned because damn, it wasn’t that deep. Anyone would’ve thought Vanessa had just kicked her kitty (and Brooke did have a cat — two, in fact. Vanessa had found that out on a desperate google binge the previous night.)

Vanessa glared as Brooke took her phone out of her bag and began frantically typing — probably about how much she already knew she didn’t want to work with the girl she was currently stood with. Vanessa cursed her for making it so awkward between them for no reason.

Luckily, her mind couldn’t spiral for long as the door flung open and Katya greeted the pair, looking far more pleased to see Vanessa than Brooke Lynn had been.

“Ladies! Sorry for the wait. Come on in,” Katya said. Michelle, Asia and a few other crew members that Vanessa didn’t know were also seated in the studio, waiting to witness Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s energy in action and see if they had struck gold.

The chemistry read went far more smoothly than Vanessa had anticipated it would be after her initial interaction with Brooke. Once Michelle had prompted them to begin, it was as if she had become another person entirely. She went from a completely detached, almost shell of a human, to being suddenly absorbed in her character, and her character’s relationship to the role Vanessa was playing. Brooke was convincing, she could give her that. The scene they were delivering wasn’t a major part of the movie, but the nuances of Brooke’s performances made it almost feel like she really had feelings for Vanessa.

However, it was over almost as quickly as it began, and Brooke reverted back to her real self before Vanessa was even able to process the fact that they were finished.

They were met with glowing praise from their panel of judges, and Vanessa felt a strong sense of pride in what she had accomplished. She tried shooting smiles at Brooke in-between compliments, attempting to lighten the atmosphere between them, but Brooke wouldn’t meet her gaze. 

After a few more minutes of talk, they were released with the guarantee that they would find out if they were cast within a few days, maximum. Vanessa had been hoping to catch Brooke outside, maybe ask her to lunch so they could get to know each other, but Brooke stayed behind to talk to Katya, the two quickly becoming engrossed in hushed conversation. Vanessa tried to stop paranoia from getting the best of her, but her suspicions that Brooke had connections on this set were confirming themselves, and most likely Brooke would be the priority if she refused to work with Vanessa.

Though surely, if Brooke didn’t want Vanessa cast, she would’ve just thrown their chemistry read altogether? 

Vanessa didn’t know the answer to that. Brooke wasn’t easy to work out.

Defeated, she gave the casting panel one last wave and left the studio — it was clear that Brooke would be hanging back for a while. Vanessa knew the rest was out of her hands and decided to hit up Silky and A’keria for drinks; all she could do now was wait.

—

The call came sooner than expected — later that evening, with Vanessa and her friends in a crowded bar, having spent the rest of the day getting drunk. The conversation with Asia was short and to the point, with Vanessa doing her very best to compose herself and hide her tipsy state. The news that she would, in fact, be working alongside Brooke Lynn almost went right over her head, overshadowed by the sheer realisation that she had _done it._ She had finally landed the second major role of her career. This was her chance to show the world that she wasn’t a one hit wonder, or a fluke.

“I got the part!” Vanessa all but yelled as she returned to their table, ecstatic, A’keria and Silky smothering her with hugs and kisses and screaming words of excitement and congratulations.

“Yes bitch!” Silky declared, and Vanessa wasn’t sure if it was pride or the alcohol, but she was pretty sure that her friend was tearing up.

“Brooke too?” A’keria asked, standing up to buy them another round.

“Yes, obviously. But who cares about her! Lets celebrate,” Vanessa announced. She’d be lying if she denied that at the very back of her mind, she had no lingering concerns about working with Brooke Lynn. But clearly, the bitch could be professional when she needed to be, and she saw no reason why she’d want to make this hard for the both of them now they were stuck with each other for the foreseeable future. And regardless, nothing could wipe the smile off of Vanessa’s face in that moment. She’d be damned if she was gonna let anyone ruin her night for her.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the positive feedback for this story so far! I nearly didn't get this chapter finished so soon because of all the Branjie s11 tour clownery. But here it is! Hope you enjoy :)

It was seven am on a Monday in late March, the first day of production on _As the Stars Align_ , and it just _had_ to be the day that Brooke’s cat Apollo decided to fall ill. He had been vomiting for a few hours now, and Brooke didn’t want to take any chances, deciding to call the vet when she was ready to leave for set and he _still_ hadn’t stopped.

Naturally, her next step after that was to call Nina.

“God, what if he ate something poisonous? What if he’s really sick?” Brooke asked, tears filling her eyes at the thought.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, sweetheart. Can you imagine if you called the doctors every time you threw up? He probably just has a hangover,” her friend teased.

“That’s not helping, Nina.”

Brooke placed her on speaker, ushering Apollo inside of the cat carrier.

“Dammit, there’s no way I’m getting to work on time. Fuck,” Brooke cursed. She positioned the phone between her ear and shoulder, carrying Apollo out of the house.

“Relax, I doubt Katya Zamolodchikova has a single angry bone in her body, or Asia for that matter. No way are they gonna care about the star of the show being half an hour late.”

“God knows how long his appointment is gonna take, though.”

Brooke slammed her car door shut, thinking about how it was way too early in the morning to be this sweaty and this exhausted.

“Um, Brooke? Don’t act like you don’t have someone on speed dial who can take care of him for you.”

“I can’t force him to socialise, not right now. He hates people, he barely likes me.” Brooke let out a noise that was somewhere between a chuckle and a sob.

“Can’t you at least get a chauffeur or some fancy shit?”

“They don’t drive fast enough. Too concerned about safety and laws and shit.”

Nina laughed.

“Brooke Lynn, I love you, but if you land your speeding ass in a cell they’re gonna set your bail super high and I don’t think I could afford to pay it, even if I wanted to.”

“I gotta go. I love you too.”

—

Brooke made it to set at exactly nine twenty-two am, nearly two hours after her call time of half seven. It could’ve been worse, especially as they didn’t have much to shoot that day, but by the time her hair and makeup would be done it would already be approaching afternoon. It was a significant delay for sure, and some people would be pissed. Thankfully, Brooke had made some phone calls while waiting at the vet's, and Katya and Asia were perfectly understanding. Even Michelle, who came down hard on punctuality, was able to sympathise. 

What still sucked, though, was that she didn’t know what was wrong with Apollo yet. They’d kept him around to do some tests, and Brooke had reluctantly left his side, knowing that she was of no help anyway if she stuck around. At least work might serve as a distraction.

It was easier said than done, however, as she showed up to work unable to focus on anything but her baby, feeling like fragile glass that could shatter at any moment. It was a situation that was sure to culminate in either a mental breakdown or a lashing out aimed at the first person she came into contact with.

As soon as she saw Vanessa’s fiery brown eyes looking her up and down in a judgemental stare, she decided it was going to be the latter. 

Before anything more could happen, Brooke felt a hand on her arm, and turned to see Katya inviting her into a warm hug. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said warmly. 

“It’s fine. I’m sure it’s nothing,” Brooke reassured her, squeezing back, trying to convince herself too that it would all be okay.

They let go and Brooke went off to take her place in hair and makeup. She made easy conversation with her makeup artist, Yvie, while waiting for her hairstylist Shuga. Yvie showed her a portfolio of looks she had put together, leaving Brooke in awe of her creativity.

“I should paint you like this for the movie, bitch,” Yvie said, pointing to various gruesome effects she had used in her makeup. “Can you imagine Michelle’s face when I stick you on set looking like a fucking Cyclops?”

Yvie let out a deep, contagious laugh at the mental image, and it wasn’t long before Brooke was joining her. It took her a minute to notice that Vanessa had also entered the trailer and sat down a few feet away in her own makeup seat, looking especially irked at the scene before her.

“Really, bitch? Two hours late and all anyone wants to do is fuckin’ cuddle and kiki with you.”

Vanessa was pissed as hell, and Brooke could feel her own face heating up.

“Mind your own fucking business,” Brooke snapped, wishing she was able to come up with a wittier response. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Out here wasting all of our times and you don’t even have the decency to apologise or feel bad about it.”

Shuga, along with Vanessa’s makeup artist Aquaria and hair stylist Kameron, started shuffling into the room. Brooke decided to hold her tongue and simply direct Vanessa with the most venomous look she could muster. She was surprised when her co-star didn’t back away in response with even so much as a flinch.

As the minutes traipsed by, keeping quiet was harder than Brooke thought it would be — all she wanted to do was go at it with Vanessa, sparring insults back and forth for hours. She wasn’t normally the confrontational type, but Vanessa was testing her.

They both kept to themselves for the rest of their time in the trailer, the silence being filled instead by the hair and makeup artists talking among themselves, clearly sensing the tension between the two leads.

Brooke couldn’t comprehend why Vanessa was being so harsh on her for being late one time. She doubted that anyone had told her the reason for her lateness, but Vanessa was hardly in a position to complain — she had been paid to sit around doing nothing while Brooke had been worrying her damn guts off. Okay, sure, she hadn’t been the most friendly to Vanessa the first time they’d met, but she’d remained perfectly professional. Since the chemistry read, her mind had flashed back to her first encounter with Vanessa an unreasonable amount of times. She couldn’t stop thinking about her annoying smug smirk that had seemed to be mocking her or those long, thick eyelashes fluttering all over the place, acting like she was all innocent. She knew she was making no sense, but something about the girl had just _irked_ her from the start, and Brooke couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 

Much to Brooke’s relief, she received a text from the vets at some point during the time she had been mentally cussing Vanessa out: Apollo was going to be fine. She let out a shaky breath but wasn’t gonna let herself get emotional over this — at least, not now in front of the damn trailer party.

After a while, Shuga, Yvie, Aquaria and Kameron left the pair alone, instructing them to wait for their makeup to dry or something that was probably a load of bullshit.

“If y’all lock this door on us on your way out, I swear ima whoop your ass,” Vanessa warned them.

Brooke turned to her, feeling calmer than she had been earlier, but Vanessa still had a lot of work to do in order to get on her good side.

“Can we go film this shit?” Brooke said, cringing as it came out more coldly than intended, even to her own ears.

Vanessa clenched her jaw, paused, and then stood up.

“Fine, but know that I don’t like you.”

She took off without a second look back, and it all stung just a bit more than Brooke was expecting.

—

“A’keria was right. She’s the worst,” Vanessa conceded a few days after she first started working with Brooke Lynn. She had been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt after their initial encounter, everyone has off days after all. But not only did she have the sweet nerve to show up late to their first day on set, she also followed it up with no apologies or explanations and instead went snuggling up to Katya and giggling with Yvie. Vanessa had felt a stab to the chest when she walked in on Brooke with the latter, the pair acting like they had known each other for years and laughing without a care in the world. Vanessa knew she was a handful and that her personality wasn’t for everyone, but Brooke hadn’t even made an effort to get to know her. Vanessa couldn’t wrap her head around it. It made whatever Brooke had against her feel all the more personal.

“I never said she was the worst,” A’keria corrected her, pulling Vanessa from her thoughts with her annoyance at either being misquoted, or having her favourite reality show interrupted, or both.

“Well, she’s the most rude, stuck up, unprofessional hoe I’ve ever met,” Vanessa huffed dramatically.

“I mean, if it doesn’t affect her acting…” Silky offered pityingly. 

“I dunno, I feel like it’s fucking with mine. I’m surprised Michelle hasn’t fired me yet. How am I supposed to pretend to be in love with the bitch when all I wanna do is rip that stupid blonde hair out of her pretty little head?”

A’keria and Silky exchanged a glance Vanessa couldn’t decipher.

“Just… channel all of that anger and turn it into a different kind of passion,” Silky advised with a shrug.

“Whatever,” Vanessa said, feigning indifference, her cheeks warming at the thought of the _passionate_ scenes she would be sharing with Brooke soon enough. She couldn’t let herself think about that yet, forcing her mind to practically shut off whenever the topics of Brooke Lynn and Kissing would start to overlap. She’d cross that bridge when she got to it.

“Speaking of _passion_ …” started A’keria, wiggling her eyebrows unsubtly. “How’s your man, V?”

“He’s fine, but what does that have to do with passion?” 

“You’re so romantic it makes me sick,” Silky quipped sarcastically.

A’keria chuckled in agreement before turning serious again.

“Seriously, Vanj. If you’re that bored, just stomp your little legs over to that white bread boy and say, ‘I dump your ass!’”

“I’m not bored!” Vanessa argued defensively. “Things are nice between us, you thirsty hoes would get it if either of you had been in a relationship that lasted longer than three months.”

“Okay. Then tell me, when was the last time you got laid, girl?” A’keria questioned with a knowing look as Silky pursed her lips.

“I — I…” Vanessa stammered and inwardly scolded herself for being so obvious. She loved A’keria and Silky, but also hated them for always seeing straight through her. Moreover, she hated herself for actually needing to think back in order to find the answer to that question.

A’keria turned her attention back to the TV, clearly satisfied with herself, while Silky gave her a look that screamed ‘I told you so.’

“Fine. You know what?” Vanessa stood abruptly as Silky and A’keria watched on with bemused expressions. “I’m gonna go see him now and we’re gonna have the hottest, steamiest fuckin’ sex, the sun is gonna wish she was me, bitch.” She stalked off on a mission, too embarrassed to seek out her friends’ reactions but feeling their confused expressions on her anyway. 

—

When Vanessa walked through her apartment door, she was already regretting ditching her friends in order to prove a point. It was a particularly muggy evening for spring in LA, and she wasn’t in any type of mood to be getting even sweatier.

“Oh! Hey babe,” Matt said, surprised to see her home so soon just like she had originally hoped for. She’d had a whole plan to show up out of nowhere and seduce him, right there and then, hoping that the spontaneity would mean that they would actually go through with it for once instead of scheduling sex into their busy diaries and putting it off each time. Vanessa would be lying if she said she was still feeling her original idea, but decided to try and slowly ease herself into it instead of jumping his bones right off the bat.

“Hi,” Vanessa greeted him with a peck on the lips.

“You’re back early. I thought you were hanging out with the girls tonight.”

“Yeah, well… I missed you,” Vanessa replied weakly.

“Oh?” Matt asked, a hint of flirtation in his voice as he pulled her onto the couch with him and brought his lips down to meet hers. They made out for a few minutes, and it was comfortable. It was nice. Silky and A’keria were wrong; Vanessa had no reason to get rid of this. So maybe it wasn’t a love story on par with The Notebook, but Vanessa knew better than most people how fake and constructed those were. If there was one thing her and Brooke could agree on, it was that the two of them were a testament to that fact.

Vanessa was thankful when Matt pulled back; she could tell this wasn’t going anywhere tonight.

“How was work? You seem stressed lately.”

“You would be too if Satan’s daughter was your colleague,” Vanessa sulked.

“Aww, I’m sure I can make you feel better,” Matt answered in a voice Vanessa was sure he thought was sexy. He began sucking at her neck as she sat there, her hate boner for Brooke rekindled now that he had brought the subject back up.

“She’s just so fucking infuriating, you don’t even know. Whenever it’s just the two of us, the bitch lets me have it, but then we get on set and she’s a fucking angel because she _knows_ that I can’t just switch it on as quick as her and I’m left looking like a hateful bitch.”

“I’m sorry, V,” Matt responded with genuine concern, before ruining it by latching onto her neck again. Vanessa rolled her eyes and pushed him off of her.

“I’m at breaking point here, Matt!” Vanessa snapped. “Could you stop coverin’ me in drool for one goddamn second and listen to me?”

Matt looked hurt, and Vanessa instantly felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to take her frustrations about Brooke out on him.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I — it’s just been a long day.”

“It’s chill. I get it,” Matt sighed. Vanessa’s heart ached as she realised just how much she didn’t deserve him.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” Vanessa decided, squeezing Matt’s hand briefly.

“Night. Love you, V.”

“You too,” Vanessa called back automatically. It wasn’t all that late, but she needed the sleep; hating Brooke was becoming a full time, all-consuming job, and she was tired.

—

Brooke and Vanessa carried on at each other's throats for over a week — fights in their trailers, digs at table reads, and even a collision between the two women at the canteen which almost resulted in a vicious food fight. Brooke tried not to let their feud ooze into their time on set, opting instead to keep a polite, professional demeanour around her co-star that sometimes strayed towards subtle taunts at how worked up Vanessa would get over her. 

It was almost as if Brooke was in her own angry bubble with Vanessa, and she was pretty sure she hated her almost as much as she loved fighting with her.

It was naive of her, really, to think that the animosity between the two of them would go unnoticed by the hundreds of people she was with each day as much as she was with Vanessa. The fact that it came as a complete shock to them made the eventual intervention that was staged all the more humiliating.

Brooke and Vanessa were seated at opposite ends of the couch, while Michelle and Asia stood before them, both of them attempting to look strict with only Michelle managing it with any level of success. In a slightly out of place scene, Katya simply sat on another couch curled up to a blonde girl Brooke didn’t recognise. Plastique and Scarlet, two other actresses on the movie who were apparently also being affected by Brooke and Vanessa’s rivalry, were also present, along with Yvie, Shuga, Kameron and Aquaria, each of them looking various degrees of disinterested. A few minutes in, even Nina joined them, and a woman named Ra’jah, who introduced herself to Brooke as Vanessa’s manager.

“So, I’m sure by now we all know why Brooke and Vanessa are here with us today,” Michelle began curtly. 

“Would somebody care to explain it to _us_?” Brooke asked feebly, wondering whether there was any hope of getting out of this with her dignity intact.

“Don’t play dumb, bitch,” Vanessa retorted. If she wanted to do this in front of everybody then so be it, Brooke thought.

“ _This_ is exactly why,” Michelle said with a sigh, stepping in before Brooke could clap back.

“Now, you two don’t have to be girlfriends in real life,” she continued, and out of the corner of her eye Brooke noticed Vanessa’s little hands balling up into fists at the patronising speech they were being given. 

“You don’t even have to be friends. But this war that you guys have going on is disrupting the atmosphere on set and off. I don’t know whether you had noticed, but you’re not the only ones working here and this negative energy is putting your cast and crew in a bad mood and making everyone's jobs and lives a lot harder.”

Brooke swallowed, staring into her lap, the shame beginning to settle in.

“Vanessa? I’m Nina, Brooke’s manager and friend,” Brooke heard, looking up to see Nina pulling a chair up so that she was sat in the gap between Vanessa and herself like a goddamn mediator. Asia quickly followed in her footsteps and Brooke couldn’t believe it had actually come to this.

“I really think it’d be in both of your best interests to put this… _tension_ between you in the past,” Asia started. “And while Michelle here has reassured me that it’s not your acting that she’s concerned about, imagine how much more you could be capable of with a little less hostility inhibiting your performances?”

Vanessa snorted and scowled at that as if she was deliberately trying to remind Brooke why she had disliked Vanessa to begin with. At least Brooke was taking this seriously.

“Moreover, it’s not a cute look for the movie’s leads to be enemies, especially since this could be groundbreaking as far as gay representation in mainstream Hollywood goes, and you two are our romantic leads. Sure, we could use it to generate a few headlines, but that’s not the narrative we’re trying to create here. This thing is Katya’s baby and she’s hoping it will be a source of light in a lot of people’s life. Don’t let it be clouded in darkness, because you know that nothing stays a secret in showbiz,” Asia finished.

“And let's not forget about the press tour. And the premiere… y’all will get coupled up for interviews the whole time. If nothing else gives your drama away, those will,” Ra’jah chipped in. Brooke could feel herself relenting, the reasons on top of reasons starting to prove that the pros of ending this pointless feud outweighed the cons.

“Brooke,” Nina appealed to her directly, “I know you feel how important this story is and I know you don’t want its legacy to be tainted. You’ve always been outspoken about the media and how they pit women against each other and if you keep this up, you’ll be making their job a lot easier, far easier than it deserves to be.”

Vanessa’s eyes finally met hers for the first time in what felt like forever, and until then Brooke hadn’t realised how badly she hated it when Vanessa behaved like she wasn’t there. 

“I… shit, I agree with Nina,” Vanessa confessed, much to Brooke’s surprise.

“You do?” Brooke asked quietly, needing the confirmation.

“Don’t get excited, girl, I don’t like you all of a sudden,” she snipped. “But… I guess I can stop acting like I want to kill you so much.” 

Brooke wanted to laugh at that. She had to give it to Vanessa — she may have only been five foot three, but Brooke didn’t think she’d ever met anybody so fierce.

“I suppose I could try that too,” Brooke replied. She gave her a nod in affirmation, thinking that a smile might be going a little far.

“Well, now that that’s been dealt with, you’re all free to go,” Michelle announced and most of the room got up to leave — Brooke was pretty certain that at least half of them had tuned out for the majority of the intervention anyway. Nina gave her a wink, signalling that she would meet her outside.

“Just one more thing, ladies,” Michelle added, gesturing for Brooke and Vanessa to stay behind. “Now that you’ve cleared the air, I’m sure you’ll be delighted to hear that you’ll be shooting your first on-screen kiss later this week. I’ll see you then.” 

Brooke froze, damning Michelle and her poor timing. Just as she and Vanessa were starting to patch things up, she had to go and make the air thick with friction again. Brooke was expecting an insult, a barb, but instead —

“I can’t wait to find out if you’re as good at kissing as you are at picking fights,” Vanessa deadpanned, her voice even lower and more raspy than usual, before strutting off without waiting for a response.

Which was a good thing, because at that moment, Brooke didn’t think she could find the words if she tried.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback again! I'm glad y'all are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing :)

After the intervention, Vanessa knew that she would have dial down the intensity of her feud with Brooke in order to stay on good terms with the rest of the production team. Her dislike towards her hadn’t thawed much, but she was desperate to prove otherwise to the rest of her peers and avoid any movements that could be construed as negativity towards Brooke.

Vanessa admittedly had less motivation to engage in catfights and screaming matches with her co-star, but the idea of having to be nice to her was still a pain in her ass. She still found herself competing with Brooke, wanting to get a one-up on her in every possible circumstance. As perfect and composed as Brooke Lynn seemed be at all times, Vanessa knew that she wasn’t unbreakable, as she had already rendered her speechless with a simple one-liner about the kiss that they had coming up on Friday. 

So, she decided to challenge her at a game she knew Brooke couldn’t win. She started to replace cruel jibes with exaggerated compliments, substituted icy scowls for the sweetest smiles. Vanessa was known in the industry for her charm and charisma and she knew that she could pull this off.

It started on Tuesday morning, the day after Michelle had scolded them so forcefully, as Vanessa entered the hair and makeup trailer with two Starbucks orders in hand a few minutes before she was required to arrive by. She smiled when she saw that Brooke was already there; despite her first day blunder, she was frequently the more early of the two when it came to arriving for work.

Vanessa strutted over to where Yvie and Shuga were already attending to her, the three of them deep in conversation.

“Hey Brooky Poo!” Vanessa called loudly, Brooke’s eyes going wide at the jarring and no doubt confusing interruption.

“Brooky Poo?” Brooke asked, irked at the nickname. Vanessa ignored her as if she had used it a thousand times before.

“I got you this,” she said with a grin, passing her the cup of coffee. “Just how you like it, I promise.”

Brooke winced as she took a sip, the hot liquid seeming to scald her tongue. Vanessa struggled to hide her annoyance; she hadn’t actually intended to _burn_ Brooke, but it wasn’t her fault that her co-star was such a dumb blonde.

“Oops! Sorry ‘bout that boo,” Vanessa hummed. 

“Is it poisoned?” Yvie deadpanned.

“Now why would I do that to my new BFF?” Vanessa asked innocently, maintaining her corny smile the entire time, fully aware that it was probably starting to come off as creepy if it hadn’t been already.

Brooke’s face was a weird mix mash of emotions; confusion, irritation and maybe even a little bit of amusement, Vanessa detected. Feeling accomplished, she went to sit down in her seat, Aquaria and Kameron not yet present, and decided to seize the opportunity to involve herself in the gossip that the other three women had been discussing.

“So, what’s the tea bitch?” Vanessa asked at no-one in particular. Yvie and Shuga exchanged looks with each other, and then with Brooke, as if they didn’t know how to proceed with this new turn of events. Brooke simply shrugged back.

“Well, we were just talking about how Miss Yvie here has a new girlfriend,” Shuga revealed.

“Aw! Good for you, sis! Who is she?” Vanessa asked delightedly. She was genuinely happy for Yvie — even though the makeup artist was firmly in Brooke’s camp, she and Vanessa had always been good-natured towards each other. As far as Vanessa was concerned, whatever game she had going on with Brooke stayed firmly between the two of them.

“It’s Scarlet,” Yvie said, a shy smile on her face, and it only took a few seconds for Vanessa to put two and two together.

“You mean — Scarlet Envy? As in our co-star who plays Brooke’s sister, Scarlet Envy?!”

Yvie nodded her head excitedly. Vanessa couldn’t believe she had been so absorbed in her own dramas that she failed to notice a whole ass relationship forming under her very nose. 

“That’s the one, honey. I can’t believe y’all found love on a movie set, it’s so romantic,” Shuga gushed.

“God bless _As The Stars Align_ , bringing unlikely duos together since… well, since whenever you two started fuckin’. First Scarlet and Yvie, now Brooke and I, isn’t that right girl?” Vanessa teased after deciding that too many seconds had passed without her killing Brooke with kindness. 

“Don’t tell your boyfriend that,” Brooke retorted with a snort. Vanessa swore that she could see her blushing anyway.

“I never told you about him,” Vanessa pointed out lightly, making an effort to keep all accusations out of her voice. The implication of what she was saying was clear.

“I — I must’ve found out from someone else,” Brooke claimed, avoiding her eyes, redness continuing to rise in her cheeks.

“If you say so,” Vanessa relented, though she fixed her with a look that let her know she didn’t buy it one bit. It wasn’t such an unrealistic story, really, but Brooke’s reactions gave her away like Vanessa knew they would. 

Aquaria and Kameron came bustling in a moment later, extra hair and makeup products in tow. After Brooke and Vanessa had had their little talking to yesterday, Vanessa had caught up with the two girls outside, the three of them starting to form a close relationship due to the level of proximity that they were sharing each day. After spending the majority of the meeting looking, frankly, disinterested in Michelle’s attempts to get Brooke and Vanessa to reconcile, Kameron had even indulged Vanessa that, as a bystander, their whole situation was more entertaining than it was aggravating. Vanessa could believe it; set life was definitely not as glamorous as she had anticipated prior to becoming an actor, and her back and forth with Brooke had certainly provided a little exhilaration to her days, or at the very least something to keep her preoccupied in the most mundane of moments. 

It wouldn’t be like before, but Vanessa still wanted to give their audience a show. And being like this with Brooke was just too damn easy, Vanessa couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Vanessa chose to spoke up just as their hair and makeup was almost finished, knowing that most conversation topics would be exhausted and her shit stirring would go down a treat.

“So, are you looking forward to our little scene on Friday, B?” Vanessa asked, pouting her lips and batting her eyelids at Brooke. 

“Why would I be?” Brooke enquired in such a monotone voice, it sounded more like a statement than a question. 

“Why _wouldn’t_ you be is the question you should be asking,” Vanessa replied confidently.

“Damn, you’re arrogant,” Brooke spat with an incredulous laugh. Vanessa’s jaw dropped in mock-offence and shock.

“Uh-uh, careful, remember what Michelle said. Play nice, kids. Listen to Nana,” Shuga reprimanded. 

“I’m sorry,” Brooke began with the least apologetic voice and most fake smile Vanessa thought she had ever heard and seen. “You’re… confident.”

“Not for no reason, boo. Maybe I’ll stop by your dressing room tomorrow and show you a little preview,” Vanessa suggested with a wink.

“I — Vanessa, what the fuck,” Brooke hissed. Vanessa only gave her a coy look in return.

Brooke eyed up the hair stylists and makeup artists that were still in the room, looking fully engrossed in the scene before them.

“You’re dismissed,” Brooke declared, waving her hand at them, the four of them giving content final looks at their work before happily following Brooke’s order.

“But my mug ain’t done,” Vanessa pouted dramatically, though by the time she started complaining, Aquaria was gone.

“Ugh, you look fine.”

“Oh, I look _fine_ , do I?” Vanessa responded flirtatiously.

“Stop it. You know what I meant,” Brooke looked away.

“Your words, bitch. Damn, what’s wrong with you?” Vanessa questioned. She was surprised to find how frustrating this whole nice-act was becoming for her. It just wasn’t as fun messing with Brooke when it was completely one sided.

“Why are you doing this?” Brooke pleaded. “We don’t like each other. You said it yourself yesterday.”

“I’m just fucking with you,” Vanessa said, feeling a little deflated. “We gotta be nice to each other now, remember?” 

“So? We can be polite to each other on set, or in public, I can do that. But that doesn’t mean I wanna talk to you anymore than I have to.”

Vanessa recoiled at her harsh words, for once at a loss for what to say herself. Throughout all these weeks of rehearsing and shooting, Brooke had been her main focus. She didn’t even know what staying out of Brooke’s hair would begin to look like.

“I can see they don’t call you the ice queen for nothing,” Vanessa gave a quiet, humourless chuckle. She stared into her lap for a couple of minutes, but when she was greeted with nothing but silence in response, she wished she could take her words back. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Vanessa said, the apology directed at Brooke tasting strange on her tongue.

“It’s okay,” Brooke said, much to Vanessa’s surprise. “How could I be mad? You’re not wrong.” She had a softness in her eyes that Vanessa didn’t think she had seen before.

“Keep talking in that tone, mami, and I might be fooled into thinking you don’t actually hate me.” The nickname had slipped out completely against Vanessa’s will, and she said a silent prayer that Brooke wouldn’t pick up on it, or at least, would brush past it like nothing happened if she did.

“Uh,” Brooke stuttered, smiling gently. She seemed nervous, whether it was at Vanessa’s awkward use of ‘mami’ or something else, Vanessa didn’t know, but for once she wasn’t gonna question it. It was nice, getting to see this side of Brooke.

“I’m sorry too, I guess,” Brooke continued, in a voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll leave you alone,” Vanessa reassured her, wanting to get out of this goddamn trailer before she could make an idiot of herself any further. She thought if she said anything else, she was bound to ruin the tentative understanding that seemed to be bubbling between them.

“Oh. Okay.”

“See you on set, Blondie,” Vanessa said, hurrying out the door and wondering how it was possible to feel so differently about someone after such a short amount of time.

—

After Michelle and co’s intervention on Monday, Brooke had done some thinking. A lot of thinking. More specifically, she had thought about her dynamic with Vanessa.

Some people called Brooke an ice queen, some people called her a diva, some called her both, and some people called her other things entirely, some of which were a lot nicer to hear than others. But if there was one thing everyone agreed on, it was that Brooke Lynn Hytes was damn good at her job. She worked hard, and she always gave it her all when it came to acting.

Those closest to Brooke also knew that sure, she had experienced some of the highest highs possible when it came to her career — but she had also endured the lowest lows that the industry had to offer. Brooke had had friendships with female co-stars and peers break down due to the press comparing them so viciously. She’d been disrespected, degraded and patronised by male authorities, even accepted their treatment in order to make it as far as she could. She still continued to have days where she doubted whether getting to do what she loved was worth the constant public scrutiny and criticism.

Brooke was an over-thinker, and the more she thought about how she and Vanessa had been acting towards each other, the worse she felt. The possibility that she might be compromising her performance for the best role she’d had in years made her mad. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of tireless contributors on production other than herself and Vanessa, and the fact that she had made their jobs more difficult with her behaviour made her feel sick. And then there was Vanessa. As she reflected on their relationship, she realised that although she found the other woman intolerable, their feud was pretty unsubstantiated. If anything, when she looked at the facts, it seemed like Brooke had started it purposefully — first by being unreceptive to Vanessa at their first meeting, and then by refusing to justify her lateness on the first day of set. Almost as if she _wanted_ her co-star to hate her.

She knew she wasn’t entirely to blame for the escalation of her dispute with Vanessa. But she was five years older than her, and her amount of Hollywood experience was most likely double that. She should’ve known better; she knew it was petty and childish to make an enemy of someone who would need friends and allies if she wanted longevity in this industry, even if she didn’t know that herself yet.

However, Vanessa was intolerable none the less. She was opinionated and explosive and the loudest person Brooke had ever met. She never kept her thoughts to herself and, ironically, couldn’t seem to hide how she was feeling, despite being an actress. Brooke was so sure that she’d never manage to pretend to feel any other way about Brooke than what she was actually feeling, which seemed to vary from vague dislike to unadulterated loathing depending on her mood. She was a loose cannon.

But Vanessa was also unpredictable, Brooke had learnt. She’d envisioned many arguments that could ensue following the intervention. In her mind, if Vanessa was feeling mellow that day, the insults she would send Brooke’s way would be replaced by a sullen demeanour and thinly-veiled distaste. Each and every one of these scenarios ended in Brooke refusing to give into her worst impulses and being the bigger person, something that she was so sure she would need to do.

So, when Vanessa came in on Tuesday morning, all smiles and Starbucks drinks, Brooke thought that maybe she had her wrong all along.

Vanessa being nice to her was a complete facade, that was the entire point — Brooke knew this. Or at least, that was how it began. She appeared to enjoy watching Brooke stutter and blush. But after they had both gotten over the shock of interacting in a way that wasn’t fighting, Vanessa seemed disappointed that Brooke wasn’t humouring her, wasn’t bantering back like she usually would before.

And then she’d looked like a kicked puppy when Brooke told her she didn’t want to talk to her — sadness was an emotion she’d never seen on Vanessa, and she instantly regretted being the one to make her feel that way. She’d called her an ice queen, and apologised right after. And then called her _mami_ , something which stirred something up in Brooke that she didn’t wanna think about. She had probably done too much thinking about Vanessa already.

—

Brooke was sat at her trailer dressing table in the middle of her Thursday lunch break when she heard a knock at the door.

“It’s unlocked,” Brooke called out.

She guessed it would be Yvie, here to check her makeup before the afternoon shoots, or maybe an assistant to call her to set early. She didn’t expect it to be Vanessa with another goddamn coffee cup, but she was starting to realise that maybe she should stop having any expectations whatsoever when it came to Vanessa.

“What are you doing here?” Brooke asked, trying to keep her tone genuine with no hint of bite to it.

“I’m a woman of my word,” Vanessa shrugged.

“You don’t have to keep getting these for me, you know,” Brooke said, eyeing her suspiciously, still none the wiser to the reason for Vanessa’s visit but accepting the coffee anyway.

“Look, don’t freak out— ”

“I’m pretty sure that prefacing your sentence with ‘don’t freak out’ only ever results in that person freaking the fuck out,” Brooke cut her off, anxiety beginning to creep in.

“Bitch, calm down, if it were that serious, they wouldn’t have picked me to try and soften the blow,” Vanessa reassured her. Brooke gave a half smile in agreement.

“Okay, then what?”

“Well, as you know, we have a pretty big scene coming up tomorrow…” Vanessa let out slowly.

“A few people may have mentioned it,” Brooke said, her heart beginning to race as she began to get a clue about where Vanessa was going with this.

“I’m just gonna say it… I think we should practice,” Vanessa declared. Her voice had dropped an octave and she was inching closer towards Brooke in a way that was very much not like the mechanical and stiff rehearsals that Brooke was used to when it came to more intimate scenes.

“Practice what?” Brooke began, feigning obliviousness, “the lines?” She reached desperately across her table for the script before shoving them into Vanessa’s hands, which were now no longer out of reach.

“Not the lines,” Vanessa rejected, “the _kiss_ , you can say it, Brooke, don’t be shy.”

“I don’t know if that will be necessary.” Brooke sounded so unconvincing she didn’t even believe herself, and her eyes betrayed her as they dropped down to Vanessa’s plump lips that looked softer than any lips had the right to be.

“I mean…” Vanessa drawled, climbing up onto Brooke’s lap, and Brooke hated how much she didn’t hate it, told herself that the things Vanessa was making her body feel were just a normal reaction to stimulus, it didn’t mean anything.

“Our chemistry’s been kinda chaotic and… unconventional lately,” Vanessa continued, bringing her lips to Brooke’s ears, tugging on the black silk robe that Brooke was inconveniently wearing. “It’s gonna piss you off real bad when you realise that kissin’ me is so much better than hatin’ me, mami, so better get it all out here than in front of those nosey asses.” 

Brooke didn’t think Vanessa would _actually_ go through with it; she was no doubt just fucking with her again and expecting her to pussy out at the last second, but Brooke didn’t even care. Whatever stupid game Vanessa was playing was working, Brooke was only human after all, and Vanessa was hot as hell. She was about to say fuck it, call her bluff, maybe pin her against her trailer wall when — 

A series of loud knocks made them both stop dead in their tracks; Brooke appreciated the time to pull herself together, expecting Vanessa to backtrack as soon as her actions caught up with her brain, but instead she merely pulled back and gave her a look that said _this isn’t over._

“Yeah, this is a really bad idea,” Brooke concluded, knocking Vanessa off of her as she got up to get her door. 

Yvie and Scarlet came bounding in, hand in hand, and Brooke had never been one for relationships but even she had to admit that the whole film set love story thing they had going on was pretty cute.

“Well well well, what have we here?” Scarlet queried with a grin, Yvie raising her eyebrows as she pushed her face into Scarlet’s neck.

Brooke was about to give some half-assed explanation, but Vanessa got there first.

“Nothing,” she said, her eyes glued to the floor. She seemed bothered, so different from her normal sassy self, but Brooke had no clue what she had done to change her mood from a moment ago so drastically.

“I’m gonna go,” Vanessa started to leave.

“No! Stay! I wanna know what it’s like to hang out with three movie stars at once,” Yvie protested.

“I, uh — Kameron needs to fix my hair,” Vanessa insisted, though Brooke was pretty sure it was a lie because to her, Vanessa’s chocolate curls looked as annoyingly flawless as they always did.

“Vanessa— ” Brooke called as the other woman reached for the door, then turned back around at the sound of her name. Brooke’s brain tried to formulate a way to check in on her without sounding like she cared too much, because _caring_ was definitely not something she was supposed to feel towards Vanessa.

“I’ll see you on set,” Brooke said.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the support!
> 
> hope u like dialogue lol

Vanessa was having a crisis. She was in a situation so dire, there was nothing to do but call on her two right-hand women for advice. Thankfully, A’keria and Silky were receptive to her SOS signal and arrived at her apartment within ten minutes, alcohol in clutch per Vanessa’s request.

“What’s the tea, Christine?” Silky asked as Vanessa led them to the kitchen. She then made fearful eye contact with A’keria as their friend began downing a series of shots.

Suddenly, Vanessa began to cry. 

“Oh no, shhh, it’s okay,” Silky spoke softly as she stood up behind Vanessa’s stool to comfort her.

“I — is it Riley? Is he okay?” A’keria guessed. Seemingly hearing his name, Vanessa’s dog bounced into the kitchen and began licking at the woman who’d just asked after him. Even Vanessa had to let out a chuckle at that.

“No, God no, he’s fine,” Vanessa replied, scooping up Riley up for a cuddle, before letting him go once she realised she’d gotten his fur wet.

“Is it Matt? Did y’all break up?” A’keria tried again, reaching across the bar to take Vanessa’s hand in her own.

“It’s not about him — well, it kind of is,” Vanessa managed to choke out between sobs. Silky and A’keria simply waited for her to continue.

“I’m sorry guys, I’m a big girl, I’ll stop.” Vanessa wiped away her tears, streaking the makeup that she hadn’t been able to bring herself to remove after that afternoon’s shoot.

She then let out a deep breath.

“It’s… Brooke.”

“Is she giving you shit again? Because I won’t hesitate to cut that skinny bitch, you just say the word Vanj,” Silky said protectively.

“It’s not that, I just… I think I might like her,” Vanessa revealed timidly, preparing for a storm. A’keria’s brows shot up and Silky’s jaw dropped slightly, but they certainly weren’t as gobsmacked as Vanessa had been expecting them to be when she told them.

“You mean…” A’keria trailed off.

“Yeah. Go on, tell me what a masochist I am.”

“I’m not judging, girl, I get it. It’s not all that surprising really,” A’keria shrugged.

“What? I just told you that I like the woman who up until today, I _hated_ ,” Vanessa hit back, confused, trying to emphasise the ‘hate’ part as much as she could.

“Yeah, exactly, you’ve been obsessed, V, you know it’s true. She’s practically all you’ve talked about for weeks.” 

Vanessa swallowed guiltily, unable to argue with that.

“Kiki’s right. But why the change of heart?” Silky wondered.

It took Vanessa a strength she didn’t know she had to stop herself from crying again.

“I don’t know, I just — today she was acting like she wanted nothing to do with me, and it fucking hurt more than any of the mean shit she’s thrown my way. And when I called her out on it, she actually apologised and she was so frickin’ soft and I realised that _that’s_ the Brooke I wanna know all the time. And then later in her dressing room, we almost kissed— ”

“Hold up hoe, you kissed?!” Silky yelled.

“No! But I went to her dressing room to practice, and we were so close, I swear my pulse has never been that quick. If it weren’t for fuckin’ Scyvie— ” 

“Who the fuck is _Scyvie_?” A’keria interrupted.

“Doesn’t matter. Point is I really like her and I dunno what the hell I’m gonna do. I have to kiss her tomorrow!” 

A’keria sighed before looking to Silky, who gave her a small nod, leaving Vanessa bewildered.

“I think you should break up with Matt, Vanessa,” A’keria said gently, giving Vanessa’s hand a squeeze. “If you really have feelings for Brooke, it’s not fair for you to lead him on. Think about it. You almost cheated on him today.”

“I wouldn’t do that. It was just to practice,” Vanessa defended herself as fresh tears began to fall.

“Was it really?” Silky questioned, her voice without accusation despite the context. 

“I’m not breaking up with Matt. Brooke doesn’t want me, okay? She hates me and she’s probably straight and I don’t wanna be her stupid girlfriend anyway, it’s just a dumb crush. I’ll get over it. And I love Matt.” Vanessa stood up, her stool screeching the tiles, and returning the empty glasses to the sink, indicating that the conversation was over.

“Whatever you do, we’re here for you, V,” spoke A’keria. Vanessa just gave a small smile in response. She didn’t know what she’d do without her Dreamgirls.

—

Vanessa didn’t get the chance to speak with Brooke in hair and makeup the next morning, a fact that she wasn’t sure whether she was grateful for or saddened by. There were a lot of characters involved in Friday’s shoot, and so Scarlet, Plastique and some of the other actors were brought into the leads’ beauty trailer to utilise the space. For once, the place was buzzing with noise, and although it was unlike her, Vanessa let herself tune out of the conversation, knowing that she needed to mentally prepare herself for the day ahead.

When they arrived on set, Vanessa swallowed her pride and approached Brooke Lynn, wanting to clear the air before their big scene.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. If I made you uncomfortable,” Vanessa said stiffly.

“Oh, no. It’s fine, you didn’t,” Brooke assured her.

“I just wanna make the movie perfect.” It wasn’t a complete lie; Vanessa did care about the scene turning out well. Brooke nodded understandingly.

Vanessa chuckled shyly, filling the air, desperately trying to think of ways to keep their conversation going until they had to film. She couldn’t handle anymore tense silences between them.

“It’s just like, when straight actresses kiss and sometimes it looks really forced, y’know? And this movie is gonna be all big for LGBT rep and stuff— ”

“I get it,” Brooke barked. Vanessa smiled painfully, feeling as awkward as the same-sex kisses she had watched on screen growing up, and wishing she could figure out a way to quit pissing her co-star off again.

“Ladies, we start shooting scene twenty-seven in ten, so get in any last minute rehearsals now,” Michelle called from her directors’ chair.

Brooke walked off, saying she was going to use the toilet, but Vanessa was pretty sure that was an excuse, that in reality, she just couldn’t stand to look at Vanessa a moment longer. Hearing the own thoughts she was having now that she had started to like Brooke only made her want to go back to hating the other woman — she was becoming paranoid and over-analytical about something as ridiculous as Brooke using the damn toilet. She just wanted to push her feelings down, but it was pretty hard when Brooke was with her everyday, right there in front of her. 

And she looked like _that_.

Vanessa wasn’t left alone for long as it was then that Scarlet and Plastique appeared, buzzing with excitement, also preparing themselves for their roles in the upcoming scene.

“Ready for your big moment, sis?” Plastique asked. Vanessa groaned.

“Ugh, no, y’all are hyping it up way too much and it’s probably gonna suck.”

“That’s impossible, you’re both way too talented for that. Don’t stress, it’ll be fine,” Scarlet said, giving her a pat.

The scene was a pivotal one; not only was it the first kiss between Brooke and Vanessa’s characters, it was also the scene where Emilia, Vanessa’s role, confesses her feelings to Brooke’s character, Jade, before she goes off on a space mission. Vanessa really hoped she could put her own feelings for Brooke to the side and get it right.

“Okay, places, please,” Michelle requested, and people on set began shuffling into position. Everyone was there, and would be watching; Michelle, Asia, the rest of the cast and crew, even the hair and makeup artists in case any touch ups became necessary. It was pretty intimidating, Vanessa had to admit — she had never shared an onscreen kiss beyond brief pecks as a supporting role in various medical dramas. When she spotted Katya, the blonde woman gave her a quick thumbs up; Vanessa had grown to like her and her quirkiness.

Brooke took her spot opposite Vanessa, and the first part of the scene, which involved a meeting between all of the astronauts, went off without a hitch.

“Okay, cut. That was great, you guys,” Michelle praised them, clearly happy to have completed it in just a couple of takes. “Brooke and Vanessa, you ready?” 

They both nodded succinctly. Vanessa began to feel her hands clam up.

“Okay, action.”

“ _Jade, hold up,_ ” Vanessa started as Brooke’s character walked out the meeting room.

“ _Em? What’s wrong?_ ” Brooke asked, stopping in her tracks. 

“ _Can we talk? Sit with me. Please._ ” Vanessa said, gripping Brooke’s hand lightly and pulling them both towards chairs.

“ _I just… I’m so happy for you. Tomorrow, you’ll be worlds away. Literally_ ,” Vanessa continued. “ _Are you excited?_ ”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Brooke replied, her eyes sparkling. “ _It’s all I’ve dreamed of, ever since I was a little girl asking too many questions in physics class._ ” She took a deep breath. “ _I can’t wait to see the stars. To really see them._ ”

The two of them sat as a comfortable silence formed between their two characters.

“ _Was there anything else?_ ” Brooke’s character asked sadly, like she wanted to say so much more.

“ _I just… I feel like it’s been so long. I miss my friend._ ” Vanessa answered. 

“ _I miss you too. I’ll keeping missing you,”_ Brooke replied.

“ _Then don’t go._ ”

Brooke paused.

“ _What?”_

“ _Stay here. Stay with me. Brooke, I—”_

“Cut!” Michelle shouted. “Vanessa, as much as I’m sure _Brooke_ would gladly accept the invitation to stay with you, right now you’re talking to _Jade,_ ” she reminded her, earning a few chuckles from a number of people on set. Vanessa knew Michelle was just trying to inject some humour into the day, but felt her cheeks heat up nonetheless.

“It just slipped out, Blondie,” she told Brooke quietly, trying to downplay her embarrassment. It was a common mistake — there was no reason why anyone would look into it. Brooke did nothing except fix her with an unimpressed stare, and Vanessa just wanted the Brooke from yesterday to come back. 

“Action!”

“ _Stay here. Stay with me. Jade, I… I have something to tell you.”_

“ _You do?_ ” Brooke asked with a quick intake of breath. Her eyes were curious, even hopeful, and it amazed Vanessa that she was able to convey that level of nuance with only her eyes.

“ _I — I love you. I wish I could say it more poetically or using some space metaphor or some shit, but it really is just that simple. I want to be with you._ ”

Vanessa’s eyes began to water. Brooke’s own were conflicted.

“ _Emilia, I — I’m sorry. But I have to do this. You know I do._ ” Vanessa allowed the tears to leave her eyes as her character got up to leave. 

“ _Emilia — wait — ”_ Brooke pleaded, catching up with Vanessa by the door and grabbing her arm, making them face one another. Vanessa prayed that Brooke couldn’t hear her heart pounding against her chest. 

Brooke’s hand came up to cup her cheek and Vanessa was gone. She was glad that this was exactly what her character wanted, as she didn’t think she could possibly reject Brooke when she was looking at her like that, even if the script called for it. 

Brooke tilted her head and finally pressed her mouth to Vanessa’s. They kissed softly, Brooke’s lips moving like silk on top of hers, even more tender than Vanessa could’ve imagined. Vanessa knew it shouldn’t have been romantic, that on-screen kisses were widely regarded as anything but — but all she could think of was how _right_ this felt, how they should’ve been doing it all along instead whatever the hell they had been wasting their time with for the past month.

Vanessa knew that it was only supposed to be a short and sweet goodbye kiss, but Michelle wasn’t yelling cut — not that Vanessa would’ve been able to hear over the fireworks crackling in her ears. But Brooke hadn’t stopped, and she took that as a good sign.

And when Vanessa felt herself be slowly backed against the door, Brooke’s tongue slipping into her mouth, to the sound of soft moans that could’ve been from either one of them, she knew that it _definitely_ wasn’t part of the script, but she certainly wasn’t complaining. 

“Cut!” came the familiar voice of Michelle’s command, and the two actresses sprung apart.

“Tone it down, you guys. What part of ‘keep it PG’ don’t you understand? It’s right there in the stage directions,” Michelle waved the script from a distance. “Let’s take five.”

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Brooke asked her abruptly in an especially bitchy tone.

“What?” Vanessa asked back, genuinely confused.

“Don’t act like this isn’t your fault, not after the way you were all over me yesterday. You tryna make me look unprofessional or something?” Brooke hit back.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Vanessa spat furiously. “Your horny ass had me pinned against the fucking wall, don’t even try to deny it, bitch, everyone saw, we got it here on fuckin’ CCTV. And you wanna blame me? How fuckin’ repressed are you?” Vanessa didn’t think she had ever been this mad, which was saying a lot since almost every encounter she’d had with Brooke seemed to set a new record — each time she thought she wasn’t capable of being so angry, Brooke went and proved her wrong.

Brooke went quiet at Vanessa’s outburst, but Vanessa couldn’t find it in her to show an ounce of sympathy.

“Do we need to reshoot?” Vanessa checked as she walked up to a group of crew members.

“No, we can work with what we’ve got,” Asia replied.

“Good,” Vanessa said, feeling a twinge of disappointment, but mostly relief. “Can we call it a day? I don’t feel well.”

Asia nodded, smiling empathetically, before informing Michelle, who seemed less overjoyed at the news but willing to go with it.

“Change of plans! That’s a wrap for the day, everyone. Thanks for your hard work — see you all tomorrow,” Michelle announced and the room let out a collective applause at the early finish.

Brooke gave Vanessa a confused glance; there was a redness behind her eyes, but Vanessa refused to let herself care about that right now. She stormed off set, sad and pissed as hell and determined to stop seeing the good in Brooke once and for all.

—

“Brooke, you have got to — and I can’t stress this enough — get your shit together.”

Nina barged in through her front door — an action that initially alarmed Brooke, who’d forgotten how she’d given Nina a spare key — and she was already chastising her before she could even reach the living room.

“Nice to see you too, Nina, thank you so much for knocking,” Brooke’s words dripped with sarcasm.

“Brooke — I’m serious.”

“What did I do now?” Brooke pondered out loud, far more interested in the large tub of chocolate ice cream she was indulging herself in. She was relaxing on the couch, buried in blankets, with Henry and Apollo laying dutifully at her feet.

“I’ve just been on the phone with Ra’jah O’Hara,” Nina said, Brooke receiving the news with a blank expression.

“Who?”

“Vanessa Mateo’s manager. She claims that her client is threatening to quit the movie because of your behaviour.”

“What?!” Brooke almost gagged on her dessert. “She wouldn’t. She didn’t.”

“Okay, fine, she didn’t,” Nina conceded. “But she did tell Ra’jah to tell me to tell you that, just to see your reaction. Which was a let down, may I say. It seems like you know Vanessa better than she thinks.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly commit to the lie,” Brooke added. “Is that all?” 

Nina took a deep, weary sigh and poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle that stood open on the coffee table. Brooke thought about how the culpability would be her own if Nina began ageing rapidly in the next few weeks.

“I did hear about what happened today when you guys had to kiss. Brooke, you had her up against the _wall_? And then lashed out at _her_ for losing control?”

“God, I was such an asshole,” Brooke professed, hating herself even more after hearing it back.

“Just tell me why,” Nina asked.

“Because it was a fucking good kiss.”

Nina wasn’t appeased by this answer.

“I did assume that much. But taking it out on Vanessa? You can’t go around treating people like shit just because you can’t handle your emotions.” Brooke understood that Nina was right, as much as it stung to hear the truth.

“I know. It’s gone too far,” Brooke agreed, her voice smaller than ever. “I just really don’t want to be attracted to her.”

“Don’t worry about that for the moment,” Nina instructed her. “I think you have a phone call to make.”

—

Vanessa went straight home after Friday’s shoot; she didn’t even feel up to seeing A’keria and Silky, knowing that that conversation would only end in a shit ton of tears on her behalf. She ignored a bunch of texts from the both of them, throwing her phone back into the depths of her purse.

But still, Matt was there. Of course he was.

He pulled her into a hug and didn’t seem to detect the tenseness in her shoulders.

“Good day?” he asked chirpily.

“No,” Vanessa said, too drained to even make up some bullshit story that told him otherwise.

“Why not, honey?”

“Brooke’s just being a cunt,” she complained as her boyfriend winced at the cussing. “I just wanna go to bed.”

“How so? I thought you two had stopped this whole nonsense,” Matt continued to probe.

“I don’t know, I guess our kiss scene got a bit too steamy and she basically blamed it all on me even though she totally instigated it,” Vanessa explained carelessly. Matt was stunned.

“Does she have a crush on you or something?” 

“What? No,” Vanessa forced out a laugh.

“Are you sure? Because you two are so fucking obsessed with each other, I just keep thinking, surely there’s some sexual tension there. But then I realise you wouldn’t do that to me. You wouldn’t string me along like some shit on your shoe if deep down, it’s not me you want. Right?”

Vanessa could tell that Matt was trying to keep his questioning tone light, trying to pretend like he didn’t already know the answer to that, but he sounded more like a balloon about to go bang.

“Right now, I’m feelin’ like I don’t want either one of you.”

“Go fuck yourself, Vanessa. And that Hollywood slut while you’re at it,” Matt hissed.

“Don’t call her that,” Vanessa warned, her voice low.

“Just as I thought,” Matt simmered.

“You wanna take a step back and maybe think about how the fuck you’re talkin’ to me?”

Matt opened his mouth to reply, but Vanessa wasn’t interested.

“That’s rhetorical, bitch — save it. And I’m not staying here tonight.”

—

Brooke settled down in her bed at half midnight, clutching her phone in one hand and a small piece of paper, courtesy of Nina, in the other. She’d spent all evening going over what she was going to say, but maybe part of her left it so late in hopes that Vanessa wouldn’t pick up. She knew it was a conversation they would have to have eventually, but Brooke questioned whether it was better suited to another day, when the wounds weren’t so fresh. She had no idea how Vanessa was going to react, after all.

However, she trusted that Ra’jah wouldn’t have passed the number along if it weren’t in her best interests to call Vanessa ASAP. And the possibility that Brooke had pushed them back to square one made her blood run cold, as much as she felt she deserved to have Vanessa damning her name and despising her very existence all over again.

Of course, texting was also an option. But Brooke longed for Vanessa to hear firsthand how sincere she was. How Brooke knew she had fucked up, but that there was nothing she wanted less than their relationship regressing further.

She dialled the number, and it rang a few times, before connecting the call.

“Hi — Vanessa, don’t hang up,” Brooke whispered.

“…Brooke?” Her voice was rough; Brooke thought she might’ve been crying. She wasn’t sure which was the better possibility; that she something else was the source of her pain, or that it was Brooke herself.

“Are… are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Vanessa said, her words concise but without malice. 

“Look, I just want to say sorry. For today. I let the kiss escalate and it was totally unfair of me to put that all on you. It wasn’t even a big deal, I shouldn’t have overreacted. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not like I tried to stop you, girl.” Brooke supposed that was true. Vanessa had kissed her back with an intensity that had made her almost wonder —

_What If._

Which was insane. She had a boyfriend, and as far as Brooke knew, they were perfectly happy together. Vanessa was just a really great actress.

And Brooke could hear her voice edging towards forgiveness before she’d even had the chance to earn it and if she wasn’t sure of it already, she knew then that this woman was far too good for her.

“So are we, uh, cool? Relatively speaking, I mean,” Brooke double checked. 

“I forgive you, and I’m sorry for my messiness, too. But we gotta stop going round in circles like this. I don’t wanna go in to work tomorrow and have you shut me out again, so we fight and you feel bad and I forgive you and it just keeps on repeatin’.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough; Brooke knew she had to prove that she wouldn’t fall back into the traps of her defence mechanisms. 

“We have to change. Let’s start now,” she said confidently, wanting to demonstrate that she could properly open up to her co-star.

“Okay…” Vanessa trailed off. 

“Tell me something about yourself,” Brooke requested. Vanessa giggled a little, sounding just as surprised as Brooke was at the turn in conversation, and it was almost like they were two regular friends swapping secrets at a sleepover.

“Hmm… oh, I’ve got one. I told Ra’jah to give you my number. So just know I could’ve made you work so much harder for that redemption, bitch.” 

It wasn’t quite what Brooke had in mind, but she found herself laughing effortlessly anyway. Even though Vanessa was transparent, and she had already worked that one out.

“Not exactly personal, but it’s a start,” Brooke responded, smiling to herself in the darkness.

“What about you?” Vanessa deflected. Brooke bounced an idea around in her mind, contemplating whether she should be brave.

“Mine is: I don’t know if I ever hated you.”

“Bitch, you’re kidding. Tell me something true now, you gotta play by the rules.”

“I am telling the truth,” Brooke began to elaborate. “I mean, I didn’t exactly like you, sure, but there was always something else underneath all that.”

“Oh really?” Vanessa’s voice was quiet in disbelief. It was too much for Brooke, felt too intimate, somehow, despite the fact that the other woman was miles away.

“Yeah, I dunno. I think I was jealous of you, you’re so young and pretty and popular and all that jazz,” Brooke lied, scrunching her face up at how far it was from the facts.

“Oh.”

— was all Vanessa had to say to her, not thrilled despite the compliments Brooke had sent her way.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Vanessa concluded.

“Yeah. I’m so sorry, again.”

“Thanks for calling, Brooke.”

“Goodnight, Vanessa.”

A soft “night” was all Brooke heard before the line went dead.

It had been a day. And still, as she tried to succumb to sleep, all Brooke’s mind could do was drift back to that kiss.

Brooke had shared many great kisses in her life, but there was a fire in that one unlike anything she had felt before. She could still envision every sensation; the sweet taste of Vanessa’s mouth, the scent of her intoxicating perfume, the warmth of her smooth skin brushing up against Brooke’s own; the addictive gasp she had let out as her back had made contact with the wall, too quiet for anyone else to have heard. She felt a heat pooling between her thighs at the memory; began to touch herself as she wished it were Vanessa’s fingers making her fall apart instead. When she came, it was with Vanessa’s name on her lips.

Nina was gonna have a field day once she clocked it, too — Brooke was in deep, and there was no coming up for air.


	5. Chapter Five

Vanessa hadn’t talked to Matt in weeks — not since the night they’d fought over Brooke. She’d been staying at Silky’s place, Riley too, making trips back to her apartment every now and then to pick up extra stuff, planning her visits carefully to make sure that they coincided with Matt’s working hours.

She had no idea where they stood anymore.

They hadn’t officially broken up, but Vanessa didn’t how they could come back from that argument. More importantly, she didn’t _want_ to come back from it.

She was almost grateful that Matt had said the things he’d said, as shitty as they had been. The couple had been growing distant for months, maybe even years. It was becoming harder for Vanessa pretend she was okay with things staying the same the more her feelings for Brooke blossomed. But Matt showing his true colours had been the final straw; her heart had been unhappy for a while, at least now her head also saw reason to leave.

Vanessa still felt bad about it, and was dreading the apology tour that she would have to embark on as a result of her decision.

She didn’t know how Matt would take it. She had thought she knew who he was, but the Matt she had known would never sink to derogatory slurs in moments of anger.

Matt’s parents were sweethearts, and she felt she owed them an explanation too.

Vanessa’s own parents, and entire extended family, would be disappointed. They loved Matt, loved that their daughter had found herself in a serious, long-term relationship at such a young age — prior to Vanessa’s career taking off a year ago, they had even started talking to her about marriage. Of course, they were proud of Vanessa’s success since then, but Vanessa couldn’t shake the idea that they were more excited about their daughter settling down.

There was also the issue of making their breakup public knowledge. Vanessa’s relationship status had always been Matt, and it had never been a secret — she hadn’t yet discussed with anyone how she was supposed to go about revealing their separation. Should she try editing him out of her wikipedia page? Compose a relatable, humorous tweet that made it clear she was single without addressing Matt directly? Should she call in as an anonymous tip to TMZ?

There was other stuff to sort out too, like moving out. It was Vanessa’s apartment, a new place she’d bought after her first major pay check, so Matt would have to move back in with his parents, at first at least.

Vanessa just wanted it all over with already; she felt like she was stuck in some kind of relationship limbo. She wanted Matt gone from her life for good. And she wanted Brooke.

Not that that was going to happen.

Ever since Brooke had phoned her to apologise, they had both been making an effort to get along at work, and it had gone surprisingly well. They’d finally managed to snap out of the cycle of going back to feuding and Brooke seemed truly remorseful about how she’d acted. She was always polite, often kind, and the times when she would crack a joke or laugh at something Vanessa said were the best part of her day. Brooke was witty and funny and the big, bright smile that Vanessa was now getting to see didn’t do anything to help the fluttering in her chest.

If she was being honest, she thought that Brooke had been on her best behaviour a little too much — not that she was being insincere, but that she was trying too hard to be a perfect version of herself that would be impossible for Vanessa to fault. Vanessa wished she would open up to her more.

But then again, why would she? They weren’t friends, they hadn’t even texted. Vanessa wanted to, but she didn’t feel it was her place — she’d pretty much forced Brooke to have her number, but she didn’t want to assume that Brooke was okay with Vanessa having hers. 

So, they weren’t really friends, and Vanessa had zero information to suggest that Brooke would want to be more than that, or that she was even into women. It had felt like she was a little too into their first kiss, but maybe it had just been a way for Brooke to let off a little steam in such a busy, stressful period. Maybe she’d hated it, and that was why was so moody afterwards. Even on the off chance that Brooke _was_ attracted to her, that didn’t mean that she would want a relationship, have any romantic interest.

They had filmed other kisses and make-out scenes since then, as they worked towards the movie’s final act, and as much as Vanessa tried to disconnect herself from them, it still felt like bliss each time Brooke’s lips touched hers. They took it slow in all of their kisses, always fearing another fuck up like the first and preferring when Michelle instead would encourage them to put more passion into it.

It was an unspoken rule that they never rehearsed those scenes, and never discussed them after.

—

A couple of days later, Vanessa still hadn’t dealt with Matt. She loved Silky and was eternally grateful for the favour she was doing her, but she missed home. They had also been filming for a few months now without a break, and Vanessa was exhausted, the current day also proving to be a long and tiring one having been on set for over twelve hours.

And the scene they were filming that night was hitting a nerve. It featured an argument between Vanessa and Brooke’s characters before Brooke’s embarks on a second mission — her most dangerous yet — and all it was doing was serving as a reminder of what a clusterfuck her relationship was right now. And having Brooke yell at her, even though she didn’t mean it, wasn’t helping. 

“ _You’re a coward!”_ Vanessa shouted. “ _You can’t just put your space suit on and get in the rocket and fly away from all your problems! That’s not how it works!”_

“ _Oh yeah? Try me. You’re just jealous because you_ wish _you were given this opportunity,_ ” Brooke yelled back.

“ _That’s not what I want and it’s not what you want either. This is a fucking suicide mission, Jade, and you’re only doing it because I know you love me too and you’re scared._ ” Vanessa’s character was supposed to be at her boiling point, angry yet confident in her knowledge that her love was reciprocated, and beyond the point of sadness. But Vanessa couldn’t stop her voice from breaking, or a lump from forming in her throat.

“ _I’m doing this. If you’re not gonna be supportive then why the fuck are you still here? You know what, just get the hell out Emilia. I’m done,_ ” Brooke said coldly.

“ _So am I_ ,” Vanessa retaliated, but she just couldn’t invoke the harshness that the line needed, and her eyes began to water. She quickly wiped her tears, hoping that no-one had caught it, but a quick glance at Brooke’s worried face confirmed that she hadn’t been so lucky.

“Cut!” Michelle hawked. “Brooke, that was spot on. Vanessa, I want just a little more venom from you, got it? Emilia’s being driven by anger in this moment; she’s furious that Jade would risk her life, and that she can throw herself into deadly situations, but won’t face up to her feelings for Emilia.”

“Okay,” Vanessa replied meekly. 

“Let’s take five, alright?” Michelle stated before leaving the set.

Vanessa turned in search of Aquaria, desiring a makeup retouch, but Brooke quickly caught her arm.

“Vanessa? What’s wrong?” Brooke asked softly, looking pained at the sight before her. Her concern at seeing Vanessa sad was enough to set Vanessa off even more, and she shook her head, her lip starting to quiver.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Brooke caressed her arm before disappearing, though her touch lingered.

Vanessa checked her phone. She’d sent Matt a message over twelve hours ago, requesting they meet up, and he’d read it but still hadn’t replied.

Brooke was back a moment later. 

“We’re done for the day,” she announced.

“Wait, you did that for me?” Vanessa asked, no longer resisting the tears that streamed down her face now that she wouldn’t have to film anymore.

“I’m surprised they haven’t fired the both of us, the amount of times we’ve shut this set down early,” Brooke replied, her hand back on Vanessa’s arm.

“Thank you,” Vanessa whispered shakily.

“Want me to drive you home?” Brooke suggested.

“No, I… I ain’t really staying at home at the moment.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you, uh, wanna talk about it?” Brooke offered cooly, almost like she was afraid of rejection or perhaps as coming across as too nice.

“What the hell, might be helpful to have a fresh pair of ears listen to me whine.” Vanessa tried to laugh, but it came out as a sort of hiccup and Brooke was still looking at her with those big, sympathetic eyes.

“Not here,” Brooke decided, “there’s a quiet little place across the street. It’ll be closing now, but I know the owner, she’ll let us stay late.”

Brooke took Vanessa’s hand, leading her out of the studios to their destination. Vanessa thought about how she should have emotional breakdowns more often if it meant Brooke would treat her like this.

“A chicken restaurant?” Vanessa questioned.

“It’s good, trust me.”

They went in and were greeted by a small, lively Asian woman about Brooke’s age.

“Hey Juju! Vanessa, this Jujubee,” Brooke said, giving her a quick hug.

“How are you?!” Jujubee asked excitedly, before turning to Vanessa and giving her a hug too as they all exchanged pleasantries. 

“I know you’re about to shut for the night, but is there any chance we could hang here for a while?” Brooke enquired.

“Sure, girl, anything for you and this gorgeous date of yours,” Jujubee agreed with a wink. Brooke blushed, muttering a quick apology to Vanessa, and Vanessa thought it was the most endearing thing she’d ever seen.

Juju led them through to a booth, her walk almost as bouncy as the shiny curls in her hair. Vanessa thought she had more energy than anyone had the right to have at eleven pm.

Moments after they had taken their seats, Jujubee brought them drinks and went off to cook them some food, on her.

“So,” Brooke began. “Tell me everything. Or, you know, as much as your comfortable sharing.”

Vanessa had one hand on her hot beverage and reached out, entwining the other with Brooke’s, hoping she would interpret it as the intimate gesture it was intended as, but at least having the excuse of her distress if Brooke wasn’t interested.

“A few weeks ago, I had a fight with my boyfriend, Matt,” Vanessa began, Brooke listening and nodding attentively. “We’ve been growin’ apart for a while, but we just blew up that night over — over — y’know, it was kinda ‘bout you, but that don’t matter,” Vanessa insisted. She would have to be more careful not to give too much away.

“About me?” Brooke asked, eyes wide, eyebrows raised. “God, I’m still ruining your life even when I’m not trying to.”

“No — it’s not like that,” Vanessa shook her head dismissively. “He thinks we’re fuckin’ or some shit, look, the bitch is crazy, okay? Don’t take no notice.”

Vanessa felt Brooke seize up under her touch, regretting running that mouth of hers and making her uncomfortable.

“Yeah, so crazy,” said Brooke, eyes flittering around the room, probably wishing for Jujubee to hurry the fuck up with the damn fried chicken already.

“Anyway, it’s irrelevant, ‘cause it was a long time comin’. He ended up sayin’ some shit, really showin’ his ass, and then I walked out.”

Brooke stayed silent for a minute, and Vanessa could see the cogs turning in her mind, putting two and two together.

“So — you left your boyfriend two weeks ago, and you haven’t been back home since?” Brooke reiterated.

“Exactly. Well, I’ve been back and forth to pick shit up. And I didn’t _leave_ him, like, for real, we didn’t say the words or nothin’.”

“It’s not my place to tell you what to do, but… you are going to dump him, right?” 

“Yeah, I will do. Soon as he remembers how to pick up his stupid phone,” Vanessa growled, making Brooke laugh, Vanessa quickly joining in despite herself.

“I hated seeing your face back there,” Brooke confessed quietly.

“I don’t know what came over me, girl. Like, I’ve been through so much with that douchebag, but I ain’t even sad about it. It’s just… it’s a big step, you know? Breaking up with someone you been with your whole ass adult life. Don’t even remember how it feels to be single.”

“You’ll be okay, ‘Ness,” — the nickname fell from Brooke’s lips as naturally as rain in a storm — “and I don’t wanna overstep, but uh, you can always stay with me if you need to. I have a big house. Lots of rooms. Not to brag or anything, but, we wouldn’t even have to see each other if you didn’t want to —” she rambled on, and Vanessa smiled softly, knowing that they were both beyond that.

She couldn’t accept Brooke’s offer, though. The temptation of being just a corridor or a wall away from her every night, even if only for a short period — it would be too much.

“We get it, you’re rich,” Vanessa cut her off teasingly. “but I can’t. I need my crib back, bitch.”

“Well. The offer stands.”

Jujubee came by with their chicken at last, and the two thanked her, Brooke insisting that she go home and allow them to wash and lock up.

They ate in a peaceful silence for a while, Vanessa reflecting on how little she knew Brooke and how this was the perfect opportunity to try and change that.

“So, what about you?” Vanessa enquired.

“What about me?” Brooke smirked.

“You got any, uh, boy problems of your own?”

Brooke held her gaze pensively, before letting out a low chuckle.

“I mean, having a boyfriend would be _the_ _problem_.”

Vanessa’s mouth simply formed a small ‘o’ shape. 

“You’re— ”

“I’m gay, ‘Ness.”

“Right. Well. That’s… compelling information,” Vanessa stammered.

“Is that… cool?” Brooke was frowning and why the fuck did Vanessa have to go and make her reaction so fucking _weird_?

“Yes, oh my god, it’s the coolest. I mean, I’m bi, _so_ ,” Vanessa responded, “I mean, I’m not hitting on you — I didn’t— ”

“Vanessa, chill,” Brooke ordered, her face having twisted into something illegible. “So you’re really bi?”

“Yeah. Like, only my friends and family know at the moment, and I’ve never really done much with a woman, but — I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

“Hey,” Brooke said “for what it’s worth, I’m glad you did.”

“You too,” Vanessa replied, smiling slightly. A lock of Brooke’s wavy bob had fallen in front of her eyes slightly, and Vanessa poured herself another drink to stop herself from tucking it away.

“So, back to the original line of questioning,” Vanessa remarked, trying to stay composed. “Any _girl_ problems?”

“Uh, nope. No girl problems. No girlfriend. Ever, actually,” Brooke answered.

“Is that a preference or…?” Vanessa trailed off, doing her best to not sound like she was prying, or judging.

“Mostly.”

“Okay. Nice.”

The conversation coming to a natural end, and their food all eaten up, the two women made their way to the kitchen, Brooke tidying up as Vanessa began filling the sink, staring into the water mindlessly.

The woman she liked didn’t do relationships. She was disappointed, but she hadn’t exactly been living with expectations of anything happening between the two of them — they were already at a zero so they couldn’t exactly get any lower. This was fine, she would cope. 

“You know what I never told you?” Brooke wondered after a moment. “Remember the first day on set?”

“Not my best memory of you,” Vanessa affirmed with a fond smile anyway.

“Oh yeah? What is your best memory of me?” Brooke asked curiously, maybe even flirtatiously, and she was suddenly pressed between Brooke Lynn and the sink in a way that was decidedly _not_ platonic. Brooke had a hand attached to the kitchen surface either side of Vanessa, was looking down at her intensely, waiting for her to make a move, and it would be so easy —

but getting over Brooke after a quick fuck _would not be_. She wouldn’t be satisfied with a one off fling, getting it out of each other’s systems.

So instead—

“My best memory of you?” Vanessa repeated sweetly, brushing her fingers through Brooke’s hair —

“Your face after I do this, bitch,” Vanessa said before grabbing a handful of bubbles from behind her and splashing them in Brooke’s face.

“Oh my god, you whore!” Brooke screamed, doubling over in laughter and probably drunk on tiredness.

They continued having a semi-water fight for a few minutes, until they both realised just how late it had gotten, so they finished cleaning the dishes, finally left and walked to Brooke’s car. Brooke offered to drive her back to Silky’s, and Vanessa couldn’t find the energy to refuse her.

“What were you gonna tell me? ‘Bout the first day on set?” Vanessa spoke up part way through the journey.

“Oh, that,” Brooke quickly remembered. “The truth is, I was late because my cat Apollo was sick. I had to take him to the vet’s and, well. Be there for him.”

Vanessa was dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe that all along, she had been mad at Brooke _for that_. For taking care of her kitty.

“I feel so evil,” Vanessa muttered.

“Don’t girl. I could’ve told you or made some vague ‘personal emergency’ explanation, I just chose not to. Just to be petty.”

Brooke pulled up at Silky’s house and turned the engine off.

“God, we’re dumb. I’m so done with our shit,” Vanessa quipped.

“I’m so done with being awake,” Brooke responded with a yawn. Vanessa faced her with a tired smile.

“Thank you for everything tonight, Brooke. I mean that.”

“Goodnight, ‘Ness,” Brooke whispered as Vanessa got out of her car, headed inside.

Vanessa didn’t think she’d ever tire of hearing Brooke call her that, even if the woman never said a different word to her again.

—

That night had been a game changer for Brooke.

Sure, she already knew by then that she was attracted to Vanessa, and that she desired a little more than friendship between them. But that night had been a whirlwind of events; from seeing Vanessa so sad, she wanted to make hurting her a crime, to finding out Vanessa was bi and allowing herself to entertain the notion that _maybe_ this connection Brooke swore she was feeling wasn’t just in her head.

And then there’d been that moment in the kitchen, where Brooke had been unable to think of anything but the image of Vanessa sitting on the counter, Brooke’s head between her thighs.

She’d wanted to kiss her so badly, maybe would’ve done if the tension hadn’t dissolved along with the bubbles in Vanessa’s hands.

It was for the best, though. Vanessa was vulnerable, and Brooke would feel like she was taking advantage. Besides, she didn’t want to be her rebound.

Because the more time she spent with Vanessa, the more attached she got.

It only got worse as the final few weeks of filming came to pass, when they became close enough for Brooke to believe that she honestly felt she had made a friend in Vanessa. It was an unfamiliar feeling — Brooke had never really wanted to be someone’s girlfriend before. She’d had crushes, even caught feelings, but none of it ever seemed worth it in the end. Worth the effort, or the compromise, or the heartache.

It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it wasn’t scary, and maybe that was what scared Brooke the most.

Brooke, who poured everything she had into the final kiss she filmed with Vanessa — held her waist a little bit tighter, caressed her cheek a little softer. Kissed her hard so that maybe she would understand.

“That’s a wrap on _As The Stars Align_ , everyone!” Michelle announced to thunderous applause, before speeches were delivered and tears were shed, temporary goodbyes exchanged.

Brooke caught up with Vanessa after.

They didn’t speak about the kiss, as usual; Brooke just pulled Vanessa into a hug and held her close.

“I broke up with Matt, by the way,” Vanessa revealed, a huge grin on her face, and Brooke knew it wasn’t the most appropriate news to smile at, but for some reason she didn’t think Vanessa would be mad. “I hear they’re renaming the wrap party to the _Vanessa-is-single-celebration._ ”

“Doesn’t really have the same ring to it,” Brooke smirked.

Still, she wouldn’t miss it for the world.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, sorry for the mega wait on this chapter! I was busy and went to DXP and was generally distracted by the tour shenanigans, sue me. I hope y'all are still interested, lol.
> 
> Second, M rating comes into play this chapter sooo be aware of that!
> 
> Also, Brooke's wrap party look is inspired by her look in her Shot with Soju interview, and Vanessa's is based on the first image that comes up if you search 'Vanessa Vanjie Mateo entertainment weekly'.
> 
> (Also I’m super behind on reading so sorry if I haven’t read/commented on anyone’s fic lately!)

“Tell it to me again,” Nina said excitedly a couple of days later as she sat at Brooke’s house, only hours before they were due at the wrap party. Brooke rolled her eyes, Nina raising her hands in mock surrender.

“I’m sorry, you just don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for the Ice Queen to _catch feelings._ Let me enjoy myself!”

“Trust me, I can’t believe it either,” Brooke admitted quietly.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna have a girlfriend! It must be too good to be true,” Nina continued.

“It is,” Brooke began. “Nothing’s gonna happen between us.”

Nina sighed.

“Let me get this straight. She’s single, she likes girls, and you think there’s a chance she might be into you too. Seems like you have a good shot, Miss Pessimist.”

“It’s not that simple,” Brooke protested. “She _just_ came out of a relationship. A serious one, long-term one. She said that up until last year, marriage was on the cards, Nina.”

“Okay,” Nina replied, trying to process Brooke’s reasoning. “But she seems pretty over this guy, correct? Didn’t she say that they’ve been growing apart for a while now? It doesn’t sound like you’d just be some rebound.”

“That’s what she says, sure. And I don’t doubt she believes it, but… I dunno. She seemed pretty distraught over everything the other day. I know she doesn’t want to be with him, but it can’t be an easy transition, throwing away years of a life you’ve built with someone else. She’s emotionally fragile right now, I can’t abuse that. She needs a friend. What if I made a move, and she thought that all along, I’d just been pretending to be nice because I want to fuck her? What if she thinks that I just told her to break up with her boyfriend for my own selfish reasons? She’ll go back to hating me all over again,” Brooke rambled, the possibilities of what could go wrong making her increasingly anxious.

“Brooke, calm down, you’re spiralling. If you’re honest about your feelings for her, she won’t think any of that.”

“But what if she doesn’t want me anyway, Nina? She hasn’t been single in years. She probably wants to spend some time alone, not running into another commitment already, I of all people can relate to that. And I don’t just wanna be some dumb Hollywood fling who she forgets about once this is all over.”

“You just gotta talk to her, B. Lay it all out on the table, tell her if you’re in, you’re all in. But don’t make that decision for her. The only person who can say whether she’s ready or not is Vanessa.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Brooke despaired. Nina shrugged, as if to say, _this is my advice, take it or leave it._

“As much as your love life thrills me more than you could know, I do actually have business to discuss,” Nina diverted the topic of conversation.

“Damn, it hasn’t even been a week since _As The Stars Align_ wrapped, but fire away.”

“Well, as you know, it’s now early August, and you have a gap in your schedule until early November when you start press for _Stars,_ ready for an early December premiere and theatrical release a week later. I just got the news that a full mini season for the HBO pilot you shot in January has been ordered, and they’re willing to accommodate your schedule, so filming starts in two weeks and finishes a week before Halloween. So you’ll get a little time off before press, at least,” Nina told her succinctly, slipping into professional manager mode like she always did when they talked work.

“Sounds great,” Brooke agreed, already wishing that the discussion would go back to Vanessa.

“There’s a catch.”

Brooke looked up at Nina, expectedly, gesturing for her to proceed.

“The show’s moving shooting to Vancouver,” she revealed, grimacing, “It’s inconvenient, but I think you should do it anyway. Of course, they can recast if you say no, and I know you don’t have a place up there so it’ll be two months of hotels. But they know how lucky they were to get you on board and they’ve already made special arrangements for you.”

Brooke had wanted to get into TV for a while, always having felt that it was ahead of Hollywood in terms of female roles available and LGBT representation. She had no reason to say no. Except… it would mean that whatever she could possibly have going on with Vanessa would have to be put on hold.

“I really can’t believe you just spent the whole morning trying to convince me to make Vanessa my girlfriend, only to tell me _now_ that I can’t see her for months anyway,” Brooke huffed.

“You don’t have to do it, Brooke. Lord knows you don’t have to work another day in your life if you don’t want to,” Nina argued.

“No, you’re right, I should do it. I’m not that bitch who’s gonna give up an amazing opportunity just to stay with her crush, what am I, fourteen? Nope. Besides, it’s probably a sign. This is exactly why it wouldn’t work between us; we’re always gonna be travelling the world and spending months away from LA. It’s probably for the best.”

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic. Probably seventy-five percent of the filming you do is here in Hollywood, and this is just a one off mini series, you’re not signing over the next decade of your life. I still think you two would be good together,” Nina rationalised.

“Well, this is all hypothetical, because she probably doesn’t want to be with me anyway,” Brooke concluded. She loved Nina, but the woman was like a Disney character — a believer in fairytales and true love and with more optimism than what was surely healthy.

Brooke couldn’t let herself get her hopes up. One of them had to keep things realistic.

—

Vanessa arrived at the wrap party at nine pm, Silky and A’keria with her after managing to charm the organisers into allowing her to bring the both of them as her plus one. It was being held at a hotel in Beverly Hills — probably one of the poshest establishments that Vanessa had ever been to — and they had even been provided with rooms for the night.

Inside, it was filled with the cast and crew, alongside their guests, all mingling and enjoying the luxury of the chandeliers and the gourmet buffet. People were sipping wine, and there was music playing, but not _too_ loudly, and it wasn’t exactly the kind of event Vanessa was used to, but she knew that as long as she had her Dreamgirls, she would be in for a good night.

She felt like That Bitch, with her beaded blue mini dress that was glamorous and expensive as hell but also a little slutty, and her her dark curls a little more polished and sleek than usual. And she knew that her mug was on point.

Her eyes scanned the room, affectionately taking in the sight of the people who had grown to become her friends. Michelle was chatting away in a group, her arm linked with her husband’s; Katya was sat on the lap of her girlfriend, Trixie, a little too casually for an occasion like this, not that Katya would ever care about that. Scarlet and Yvie were also together, hand in hand, whereas Aquaria, Kameron and Asia were laughing loudly as Shuga and Plastique gossiped in a corner.

Brooke was nowhere to be seen. It was rare for her not to be on time despite the mishap on the first day of filming, but the bitch did like to make an entrance.

“Can’t find your girl?” A’keria asked with a smirk.

“She ain’t my girl,” Vanessa denied.

“But you do know who she was referring to, surely that means something,” Silky chipped in.

“Y’all are a nightmare. Ima go get us some drinks, try and stay outta trouble,” Vanessa announced. She strutted up to the bar and ordered for the three of them, feeling butterflies form in her stomach as she thought about the idea of herself and Brooke being just steps away from each other that night. She wanted nothing more than for something to happen between them. Even though Brooke didn’t do relationships, and Vanessa very much wanted a relationship, it had taken every ounce of strength to reject Brooke’s subtle advances in the kitchen, and the more Vanessa’s feelings towards Brooke deepened, the less she was convinced she’d be able to turn her down should a similar situation arise.

“Hey,” Vanessa heard a voice to her right, and turned to see Asia, glass of champagne in her hand.

“Hey. Congratulations on all of this,” Vanessa smiled.

“You too,” Asia responded, smiling back.

“You uh, seen Brooke?” Vanessa asked cooly, staring ahead at the bottles lining the wall behind the bar.

Asia’s grin turned wicked.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be here.”

“I ain’t worried — why would you say that?” Vanessa gave a nervous laughter.

“Girl, don’t sweat it. You two are obvious, you know that, right?” Asia teased.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well, everyone else does. And we’re happy for you.”

“I’m serious, bitch,” Vanessa said, with more sadness than she’d intended to convey. “There’s nothin' going on between Brooke and I.”

Asia paused.

“Vanessa, my love, you cannot be that oblivious. I’ve worked on a lot of movies and the sexual tension you two have… it’s not common or normal between two co-stars. Whenever I’m around you guys, no matter what you’re talking about, it’s like I’m intruding on a private moment, because that’s just the energy y’all give off. It would be cute if it weren’t so annoying watching y’all tryna dance around it instead of dealing with it. So just cut the crap and climb that tall hoe like I know you wanna.”

Asia had been almost like a mother-figure on set, maternal and caring yet direct when necessary, but Vanessa had never heard he be this bold.

“It had to be said,” Asia concluded, flashing her perfect white smile proudly.

Vanessa excused herself, made her way back to A’keria and Silky with their drinks, and Vanessa was already aggressively downing her champagne when Silky begun tugging on her arm, pointing her towards the entrance of the room.

Brooke had arrived, and it took Vanessa a moment to snap out of her awe and realise that she was walking towards her, Nina in tow. A’keria and Silky decided that was their cue to make themselves scarce.

Brooke always looked incredible, but Vanessa had never seen her so dressed up in person, and the sight made Vanessa’s breath hitch. She had her usually wavy hair straightened into a sleek shoulder length bob, and she wore a red midi dress that hugged her curves, and all Vanessa wanted to do was put her hands all over them.

“Hi,” Vanessa greeted her shyly, pulling her into tight hug that lingered a little too long. When she pulled back, Brooke was giving Nina a pointed glance that seemed to be in reference to something which Vanessa wasn’t a part of.

“Hey, Nina,” Vanessa continued, pulling the other woman into a quick hug.

The three of them engaged in lighthearted small talk, about a range of topics — the movie, the party, what a beautiful hotel it was — but Vanessa couldn’t shake the feeling that Brooke was distancing herself. She didn’t understand her. Brooke had been so caring and thoughtful and even flirtatious the night Vanessa had opened up to her, but here she was now, barely weeks later, struggling to look her in the eye.

Vanessa wanted Brooke, and by now, she was starting to believe that Brooke wanted her too, at least on a surface level. She wasn’t always the best at reading signs, but she was pretty sure there was no platonic explanation for the way Brooke had leaned her body against her own and basically eye fucked her right there in front of the counter.

But the way Brooke was acting right now was just confusing. This woman had seen Vanessa at her very worst, seen her fiery anger and her uncontrollable tears, and yet Brooke’s demeanour would suggest that the two of them were merely colleagues, acquaintances at best.

—

If Brooke thought the chances for her and Vanessa were already low, they were pretty much on the floor now that Nina had told her about the miniseries in Vancouver.

But all of her resolve to keep her distance from Vanessa had crumbled the minute she’d walked into the wrap party and seen her co-star standing there, her old Hollywood pin up curls contrasting with the tiny beaded mini dress she was wearing. Blue wasn’t something she’d seen her in often, and it only served to prove her theory that there was no colour that Vanessa didn’t suit. Brooke didn’t know where to look — at her mesmerising locks, or her long, exposed legs, or her face that looked soft despite the fact that she was wearing more makeup than Brooke had ever seen her in.

Brooke felt herself get lost in Vanessa’s embrace, and that’s when she knew that if Vanessa held her like that again, she’d never bring herself to go to Canada.

For much of the night, Brooke somewhat avoided Vanessa. Not enough for it to seem like she disliked the girl, or that she was intentionally trying to stay out of her company, but she ensured that she spent plenty of time with other people, like Nina and Katya and Yvie, and that when she was with Vanessa, they weren’t alone.

That’s how she ended up in a group with Vanessa, Aquaria, Kameron and Asia, Rihanna’s _Sex With Me_ playing loudly. It was a far cry from the rather tame, classy shenanigans of earlier; now the real fun was beginning.

“Bitch, I’m 'bout to turn this out,” Vanessa said excitedly. Asia and Kameron had already began dancing together in way was a little provocative, but didn’t veer too far into more-than-friends territory.

Suddenly, Vanessa grabbed Aquaria and began grinding on her in a much less wholesome manner, and as far as Brooke could tell, they had both completely forgotten that she was still there, sipping her drink and watching on, not wanting to watch but unable to look away.

Their bodies were practically slammed together as they danced, and Brooke felt her throat constricting as Vanessa grabbed Aquaria’s head in her hands. Brooke was sure they were going to kiss, when Aquaria’s lips latched onto Vanessa’s neck, but Vanessa only tilted her face towards Brooke, making eye contact in a smug, challenging, lustful stare.

Brooke didn’t understand and was embarrassed to be unable to move from her spot, looking on like a horny straight boy who’d just discovered lesbians.

She felt moisture fill her eyes as she forced herself to consider that maybe Vanessa didn’t care about her after all. She was ready to move on, she just didn’t want Brooke. Maybe she never wanted her, and that was why the restaurant night didn’t go anywhere. Even if Vanessa was trying to make her jealous, she was being cruel. She must’ve realised by now that Brooke liked her, and there was no need for her to throw it back in Brooke’s face like this.

Brooke’s legs began working separately to her brain and she took off abruptly, walking briskly as far away from the party as possible, not expecting Vanessa to follow shortly behind her. Vanessa began calling her name, but Brooke didn’t even want to give her the satisfaction of looking back around at her.

“Hold up, Mary!” Vanessa pleaded as she followed Brooke into the hotel lobby. It was quiet, away from the main action of the party, and Brooke knew she couldn’t pretend like she couldn’t hear Vanessa any longer.

“What?” Brooke said coldly, facing Vanessa, trying to seem unbothered. It was in vain since her reaction to Vanessa with Aquaria had already made her feelings loud and clear.

Vanessa was always short, but Brooke had never seen her look so small, and she looked a far cry from the confident, empowered woman that had been present on the dance floor moments prior.

“Can we… talk? Like, in private?” Vanessa asked. Brooke nodded, and the pair walked together, palpable distance between them, up to Vanessa’s hotel room. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Brooke on edge of the bed as she undid her shoes, and Vanessa propped up on the dressing table. Their eyes kept finding each other, both of them unsure on how to proceed.

Vanessa spoke up first.

“So —”

“I’m leaving,” Brooke interrupted her. Vanessa’s face fell.

“Wh— what?” Vanessa chuckled awkwardly.

“Well. I’m going away for a few months, I just found out today. To Vancouver. I’ll be back by the time _Stars_ is released, obviously, but who knows what I’ll be doing once that’s all over.”

“Why you tellin’ me this?” Vanessa pondered with a frown, “I know we good Judy’s an’ all now, but I still ain’t hardly see you outside of work.”

“I just thought you should know, this is the last night we’ll see each other for a while,” Brooke said, licking her lips and looking at Vanessa suggestively in a way that left nothing up for interpretation.

“Oh,” Vanessa smirked.

“Don’t make a thing out of it. I just… the way you were dancing… bitch, I’m only human.”

Something shifted in that moment.

“You were real jealous out there, mami,” Vanessa called her out, slipping off the dresser and crossing the small space of floor between them, coming to sit next to her on the other side of the bed.

“No I wasn’t,” Brooke protested futilely.

After a flash of hesitation — gone so fast Brooke wasn’t sure if it had even been there — Vanessa reached out her arm and rested her hand on top of Brooke’s.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I — no.”

That was all the confirmation Vanessa needed to shuffle herself closer to Brooke and begin combing her fingers through her hair.

“What do you want, Brooke?” Vanessa asked sweetly.

It was as if a switch went off inside of her and Brooke suddenly processed that she was with the girl who she’d been pining over for ages, and she was very obviously coming on to her. She’d be a fool to turn her down.

“I want you,” Brooke replied. “I mean, just tonight. No strings attached, etcetera.”

Vanessa raised an eyebrow like she didn’t quite believe her. She was right to have her doubts, but Brooke knew it wasn’t the right time to be tackling _feelings_ so as long as neither of them went there, they’d be fine.

“Tonight sounds good,” Vanessa consented, moving her hand up to Brooke’s thigh.

Brooke decided she had to kiss her before she ended up begging her for something more, so she lunged forwards and crashed her lips to Vanessa’s, hot and slightly salty from the tears that Brooke hadn’t realised had fallen.

It was familiar and yet a whole new experience at the same time, just the two of them, no hovering cameras or bellowing crew members to distract them from each other’s touch. They no longer had to restrain themselves, and Brooke couldn’t help but moan loudly into the kiss, making up for all the times she’d had to suppress such sounds.

“Ooh, she’s eager,” Vanessa mumbled in the brief seconds they were apart.

Brooke shut her up with another kiss, before pushing Vanessa’s body down on the bed and straddling her hips. “Do you know how fucking pretty you are?” she asked, her tone hard as she could make it as she sucked on Vanessa’s neck.

“You are too,” Vanessa responded so sincerely, it made Brooke’s heart skip a beat. Brooke began tugging at Vanessa’s dress impatiently and Vanessa pushed her off of her and began working her way out of it.

“This was custom, hoe,” she scolded, but there was a slight quiver of something — nerves? — in her voice, and all the attitude in the world couldn’t hide it. Brooke laughed anyway.

“Sorry,” she replied, figuring she should undress herself as well, leaving them both naked, and Vanessa further away than she had any right to be under these circumstances.

Brooke was used to being the quieter one out of the two of them, but they were both silent as they took each other in, Brooke’s eyes roaming over her perfect, golden curves.

“You’re —”

“Just get over here,” Vanessa cut in. Brooke obliged and slammed her body against Vanessa’s, and they kissed hungrily as Brooke pinned her against the ugly hotel wallpaper.

“Bed,” she panted, Vanessa whining as they were momentarily separated.

“So bratty,” Brooke noted as she began crawling on top of her. “But we knew that already, didn’t we?”

Vanessa wasn’t given any time to respond, and simply let out a gasp as Brooke’s hand began massaging one nipple at the same time her lips covered the other. She then began kissing her way down Vanessa’s body and up her thighs, knowing she was tormenting the other woman as curse words rolled off Vanessa’s tongue.

“ _Fuck me_ ,” Vanessa moaned, and Brooke dipped her fingers gently between her pussy, before starting to draw swirls on Vanessa’s clit.

“Is this okay, Ness?” Brooke checked anxiously, and Vanessa’s moans and cries of affirmation removed any last seeds of doubt.

Brooke replaced her fingers with her mouth, and just minutes later, Vanessa was climaxing, repeating Brooke’s name like a prayer.

Brooke laid herself down next to Vanessa, feeling overwhelmingly lucky that she even got to see her like this, glowing and blissed out. They held eye contact for a few seconds and before Brooke could even collect her brain and start overthinking, she felt Vanessa’s hand stroking her inner thigh, making goosebumps raise all over her skin.

“Wanna make you feel good too, Mami,” Vanessa purred, kissing her thoroughly.

“Okay,” Brooke stuttered, wishing she could compose herself and provide a more smooth response.

Vanessa dragged her fingers from Brooke’s legs to her clit, and caressed it slowly, before speeding up, encouraged by Brooke’s enthusiastic response. Vanessa then broke their kiss and gazed up at Brooke as she began pumping two fingers into her pussy, and Brooke’s eyes fluttered shut, both from pleasure and an inability to look at Vanessa’s face any longer without saying things she knew she shouldn’t. Vanessa continued fucking her through her orgasm, before giving her a soft kiss that made Brooke long for a second, third, hundredth time like this that she knew wouldn’t come.

Once Brooke had recovered, she turned to Vanessa, who was looking at her coyly, sucking on her fingers irresistibly.

“I, um. I should go,” Brooke said, startling Vanessa with how quickly she got up and put her dress back on.

“What? Why?” Vanessa persisted with a pout. “The night ain’t over yet, girl.”

“I got a flight in the morning,” Brooke claimed. It was lie, but she couldn’t stop it from coming out anyway.

“Oh. Well, bring me back some of that maple syrup, Miss Brooke Lynn.” Vanessa picked her phone out of her clutch and began scrolling, looking like an angel with her body sprawled naked on the king size bed, hair fanned out over the white pillow.

“Would you, uh, zip me up?” Brooke asked, feeling like a fucking cliché but not wanting to walk all the way to her room with it undone. Vanessa hopped off the bed, began zipping her dress agonisingly slowly, fingertips grazing her skin and warm breath tickling her neck. Brooke could feel her heart beat loudly in her chest, every last drop of her willpower stopping her from spinning around and jumping Vanessa all over again.

“Don’t freeze to death in your igloos and shit,” Vanessa ordered once she had completed the task, and Brooke snorted.

“I’ll try not to,” she promised.

She thought about giving the shorter woman a hug, but she was still naked and she didn’t know whether that would be weird or not. So instead, she gave her a small smile and a soft _bye,_ before slinking out of the room, questioning where the hell they would go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated writing this smut and it took me ages so you probably won't get loads of it in this fic lmao but I hope it was okay!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait on this chapter! The next should definitely not take three weeks jsjsjsj
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one! She's over 5k words! And can you tell I like parties lol.

Brooke ended up enjoying her time in Vancouver more than she’d expected to. Life on a TV set was fast-paced and constantly busy, so there was little time to miss Vanessa or wonder what more could’ve happened between them had the timing been right.

It was certainly weird being thrust into a new role so soon after _Stars_ , and Brooke knew that playing two queer characters so close together would raise more questions about her own sexuality, but she was used to the mindless gossip and speculation by this point.

Even stranger was working with a love interest that wasn’t played by Vanessa. Her new on-screen girlfriend was played by Violet Chachki, an actress Brooke greatly admired, but she wasn’t attracted to her despite her gorgeous looks. When they filmed their first kiss and Brooke felt nothing, she almost wanted to laugh at how she ever thought she didn’t have feelings for Vanessa, when their scripted kisses had been completely different to any other Brooke had ever experienced.

Even so, Brooke returned to Los Angeles three weeks into October, convinced that she was over Vanessa. ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’ had been working out well for her, having not seen the other woman for over two months, and having had barely any time to stalk her Instagram or catch up with her over text. They’d exchanged a couple of messages here and there, mostly in the form of promises to meet up once Brooke was home, but they didn’t bring up That Night, and Brooke had no expectations of it happening again.

Which she was fine with. And maybe Brooke hadn’t slept with anyone else since Vanessa, but it was just because her work was tiring and any days or nights off that she had, she wanted to keep to herself rather than share with other people. Besides, it had only been two months — hardly an unbearable amount of time to go without having sex.

It was a Tuesday when Brooke finally opened the messages she’d had stored on her phone since the day prior, having then been unable to face socialising after her travels back from Canada. She hated to admit how one caught her eye immediately.

**Vanessa:** _Halloween Party at mine next Thursday! U better come, I know ur home then bitch. ;)_

Brooke laughed, excitement bubbling inside her at the thought of getting to see Vanessa on one of her favourite holidays. She sent a quick text in confirmation that she would be present, and immediately began coming up with all of the costume possibilities, feeling thankful that her hectic schedule from the last couple of months meant that she’d forgotten the occasion was so near, and subsequently she had failed to commit to any plans for the night already. She had put so much effort into convincing herself that she was over Vanessa, but still nothing could persuade her that there was any better way to spend Halloween than in her co-worker’s company.

Brooke had a rummage through her walk-in closet on the off chance that she would find something right for the event, but all she had was last years mummy costume that had worked perfectly with her ballet training. Who was she kidding, anyway — of course, she was going to use the party as an excuse to treat herself to something new and custom made. It would be the first time seeing Vanessa — and probably the rest of the cast and crew — in months. She had to look good.

It wasn’t long before the perfect idea came to mind. She only had a week, but luckily Brooke knew just the designer who would be up to the task.

—

On October 31st, Brooke stood in front of her dressing table mirror, adding the finishing touches to her lipstick, proudly admiring her work. She had to admit, she felt like this was the best she had ever looked. The luxury of having a week off meant she’d gotten tons of beauty sleep the night before, lying in before taking her time to pamper herself in the shower, spending hours carefully applying her makeup and gently curling her platinum hair that she had allowed to grow long.

She’d decided to go as Catwoman, and enlisted one of her favourite local designers, Raja, to tailor her the perfect latex catsuit that fit like a second skin, clinging to her hips and ass so much she felt explicit. She’d decided against a mask, wanting to show off her freshly bleached, tumbling locks, and settled on a pair of matching cat ears to complete the look. It was minimalist, yet sexy, if Brooke did say so herself.

“Brooke! The car’s here!” Nina yelled up the stairs, Brooke slipping her feet into slick black heels and grabbing her clutch and phone. She checked the time, noticing that it was already half nine, meaning the party would be in full swing by now. Brooke also had a couple of casual texts from Vanessa that she’d held herself back from replying to, for some reason feeling the need to play it cool as much as possible.

“Tequila shots before we leave?” Brooke suggested as she descended the stairs as elegantly as one possibly could in sky-high heels that she really should’ve waited to put on.

“Girl, oh my God, look at you!” Plastique let out as she came into view. She looked pretty cute herself in a pink Playboy bunny outfit. Brooke didn’t know the girl well, having only had brief exchanges with her during filming, but she had seemed to form a group somewhat with Shuga, Yvie and Scarlet, while Brooke had been focused on Vanessa the whole time. She thought it was about time she got to know them all a little bit more, and the idea of turning up to Vanessa’s in a group comforted her —

— hence the gathering at her house right now, the four women ready in the hall, plus Nina of course.

There was a chorus of wolf whistles and compliments as Brooke did a little strut to the kitchen — she knew that in another life, she could’ve been a full-time model.

“Who you tryna impress tonight, bitch?” Yvie asked, leading Scarlet hand in hand as the rest of the girls followed Brooke into the kitchen.

“Oooh, Brooke Lynn, please tell us!” Nina exclaimed dramatically, as if the last time they spoke in person hadn’t consisted of Brooke claiming she was over Vanessa and Nina telling her she was nuts. Brooke fixed her with a stern glare, hoping she could put her off of pulling this shit all night, but it had been a long time since her manager had been intimidated by her.

“Oh, guys, hush. It’s no one, I’m just trying to make my LA society comeback in style, that’s all,” Brooke said with a shrug.

“Well, it’s a damn waste if you ask me. You look fine as hell tonight, honey,” Shuga hummed. “You know, if I didn’t have a husband…”

“I know what you mean, Shugs. If I were single, I’d be all over that,” Scarlet teased, Yvie sticking her tongue out at her in response. “Seriously, Brooke. You can score whoever you want in that getup.”

“Okay. Why are you guys being so nice? I mean, I’m not the only one dressed up here,” — a quick glance at Plastique’s wide-eyed face confirmed Brooke’s suspicions that something was up. “Nina. A word?” she said through gritted teeth.

The other girls scurried off into the hallway, leaving Nina to mindlessly clear up the glasses as she tried to avoid Brooke’s gaze.

“I’m your manager, not your housekeeper you know —“

“Did you tell them about Vanessa?” Brooke jumped to the point.

“See? Your mind went there even though you think you’ve moved on. You totally aren’t over her!” Nina whizzed round to face her.

“I — what? I am. _Clearly_ you don’t believe me and told them about her — us — anyway.”

“B, look, everybody knows. It’s been obvious for months, and even now, you still talk about her in the same way as before. You guys had _sex_!” — Brooke shushed Nina frantically — “She wants you back, I don’t understand why you’re trying so hard to pretend you’ve moved on. Isn’t this what you’ve been hoping for the whole time? Why are you trying to downplay it?”

“Actually, I don’t know that she wants that. When we slept together, I made it clear it was a one-time thing. I have no reason to think she wants a relationship or to even have sex again,” Brooke whispered.

“Brooke, you — why did you say that? God, you’re so dumb.” Nina was shaking her head like Brooke was beyond her help and she was finally giving up.

“It was just easier. She’s so young and, like, the biggest romantic I’ve ever met, and she’s the most beautiful goddamn person in the world. I wasn’t about to try and tie her down only to abandon her for Canada a week later,” Brooke revealed sadly.

“Oh, Brooke. You’re so in love, it amazes me how you don’t see it.”

“I — what?” Brooke all but yelled. “I’m not — I’m not _in love_ , I told you, I’m… I’m fine,” she spluttered, which probably wasn’t helping her case. “I don’t even have feelings for her anymore. You’ll see, Nina.”

“Brooke, don’t make yourself unhappy to prove a point,” Nina pleaded with her. The words made Brooke uneasy. She wasn’t in love. She’d had a crush on Vanessa, sure, but she’d never let it get that deep. Nina didn’t know shit.

“Y’all, some of us would actually like to get to this party _before_ the clock strikes midnight,” Shuga called from where the rest of them were stood waiting.

Nina sighed before trotting off, Brooke trailing behind as soon as she could compose herself, her walk lacking the confidence she’d been full of before.

—

“It’s ten o’ clock, where is she?!” Vanessa exclaimed between nervous glances at her phone and sips of her cocktail. _Time Warp_ was ringing through her large, bustling open plan apartment, and as much as Vanessa was proud of her Halloween playlist, she really just wanted to turn it the fuck down so she could listen out for any signs that Brooke had arrived.

“Bitch, chill, you’re being too much. She’s probably on her way. You’ve already texted her enough times,” Silky huffed at her, her iffy _The Wiz_ cosplay making her one of the least menacing costumes there.

“And she ain’t even read ‘em. What if she wants nothin’ to do with me anymore?”

“Calm yo melodramatic Libra ass down. I’m serious, Vanj, you need to play hard to get.”

In spite of Silky’s words of wisdom, Vanessa knew she’d be unable to relax and enjoy herself until Brooke finally showed her face.

She missed her so, so much.

When Brooke announced that she was going away for work in Canada, Vanessa briefly thought that maybe she would finally be given the distance she needed to move on. That possibility flew out the window just as quickly, as after she slept with Brooke, she knew that she couldn’t just move on from her. Not now, possibly not ever.

Vanessa remembered how Brooke had propositioned her, and how she’d almost hoped that the sex between them would be bad. Almost hoped that they were incompatible, since Brooke had made it very clear that she wasn’t after a relationship, or even a friends with benefits situation — she wanted a one night stand, and Vanessa wanted so much more.

But, cliché as it was, the exact opposite had turned out to be true, and Vanessa couldn’t say she was surprised. It had been some of the best sex she’d ever had, passionate and intimate and short and sweet because it had been such a long time coming. And there was no getting Brooke out of her head after that.

After a few more minutes of socialising, pretending to be immersed in conversations but really just wishing it was Brooke she was talking to, Silky pulled Vanessa aside.

“She’s here,” Silky announced like they were in some sort of spy movie. Vanessa tried to break free of her grasp, but Silky had more advice to give. “Be cool. Trust me, if you want her to fuck you again, act like you barely even remember who she is.”

“Silk, that’s ridiculous,” — but Silky was shaking her head disapprovingly, and the more Vanessa thought about her strategy, the more she supposed there wasn’t any in harm in waiting for Brooke to come to her first — “but if Brooky don’t wanna answer my texts, maybe she does to deserve to be left on read for a little bit. Like, in real life.”

Silky frowned at that, perplexed.

“It’s an analogy, bitch.”

After a few more minutes of conveniently failing to notice Brooke’s arrival, Vanessa turned around and found the woman of her affections already staring at her, though she quickly diverted her gaze after getting caught before returning it and giving Vanessa a small wave and a shrug. Vanessa smirked in response, causing a blush to rise in Brooke’s cheeks, clashing endearingly with the sexy, badass character she was portraying.

Brooke looked so hot she made it hard to look away, but Vanessa didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of thinking her newfound presence had that much of an effect on her. Didn’t want Brooke getting any impression of Vanessa waiting for hours, longing for Brooke to show up.

Even though that was exactly what she had been doing.

—

Brooke wasn’t one for conspiracy theories or jumping to conclusions, but all night she’d had a sinking feeling that Vanessa had been avoiding her.

It started when she’d arrived, when Vanessa certainly hadn’t seemed as enthusiastic about their reunion as Brooke felt. She’d given Brooke a quick smile in recognition, and then gone back toher interactions with the group of people she was currently socialising with, barely sparing Brooke a second glance.

She felt self-absorbed even thinking it, but Brooke had at least hoped she’d come over and say hi — she’d even kind of been expecting it after Vanessa had dropped her so many messages about the party. But maybe she was just being polite. Maybe she’d had too many people back out already, and she just wanted to make sure.

Whatever the reason was, it hurt more than Brooke could fathom. She became deflated and dejected, trying not to sulk as she mingled with her other co-stars and crew members, knowing that she was probably looking like the lamest, most miserable Catwoman to ever exist.

It stung to think that perhaps Vanessa regretted what had happened between them, but then again, why should she still be caught up on that night? If Vanessa ever felt something for Brooke, she’d more than likely moved on by now. After all, Brooke had.

If one good thing came out of Vanessa ghosting her, it was Proving Nina Right.

“I told you so,” Brooke said when she finally caught up with her best friend again, at around midnight. She was straddling the line between tipsy and drunk from all the alcohol she’d been knocking back in self-pity.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, but I doubt you did. You know I’m never wrong,” Nina replied with a smile.

“Vanessa. I’m _over_ her.”

“And have you been thinking a lot on this night about how you’re _over_ _Vanessa_?” Nina laughed.

“I mean it, bitch. I haven’t talked to her since I got here. Not once, nope.”

“By choice?” Nina questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“Well. Not exactly,” Brooke scrunched her nose in response. “It’s just… I think she hates me.”

Nina huffed dramatically, seeming uncharacteristically impatient with Brooke Lynn.

“Right. That’s it. I don’t even wanna hear this. You two are the worst communicators in the world and I’m tired of it,” — she grabbed Brooke’s hand and dragged her across the kitchen and out onto the deck, where Vanessa stood, a literal angel, glowing under the moonlight.

“Vanessa! How good to see you! Love the party, dear,” Nina called loudly, Brooke feeling like a bratty child being forced to apologise on the playground.

“Hi, V,” Brooke greeted Vanessa, warmth surging through her when Vanessa grinned back at her.

“Sorry, I have to just take this,” Nina butted in, gripping her silent phone, “after all, a manager’s job never ends.”

“How was Canada?” Vanessa started after Nina had left them to it.

“Good. Really good, actually,” Brooke confessed eagerly. “How’s LA been?”

“Same old, you know how it is, girl.”

“Yeah.”

There were a few moments of awkward silence which Brooke used to subtly take in Vanessa’s costume. She was wearing a detailed white corset and bra, huge wings, and a bejewelled headpiece, plus matching stockings that made Brooke want to stare at her thighs all night long. And maybe touch them a little bit, but that was fine, any self-respecting lesbian would feel the same way.

“Brooke, about what happened between us, after the wrap party —” Vanessa began, making Brooke seize up in a panic at the elephant in the room finally being addressed.

“We can forget about it,” she blurted out, her ego unable to handle Vanessa’s words of rejection right now. “It’s no biggie.”

Vanessa said nothing, snapping her head away from Brooke to look up at the moon again.

“Sure, let’s do that. It’s for the best,” she agreed finally.

“Yeah,” Brooke whispered, at a loss for what else to say.

Vanessa faced her again, and shit, she was a terrible actor. Her eyes were wet and had she really been crying this whole time while Brooke was unaware right next to her? Not that Brooke could blame her — she was already feeling like they’d gone and fucked up the tentative friendship that had been formed between the two of them. Brooke felt her throat constricting as she realised how much she hated this. How different it felt now.

“Good talk, I guess,” Vanessa summarised, and she was gone from Brooke’s side in a flash.

—

Brooke had decided to call it a night soon after her conversation with Vanessa, no longer in the mood for any kind of festivities. She was quiet the entire Uber ride home, and was grateful when for once, Nina chose not to pry.

They couldn’t avoid each forever, though, as that Saturday they had their first press gigs for _As The Stars Align._ As Brooke spent the morning getting ready, she regretted how much she was not looking forward to the day's schedule — first a panel with the whole cast, and then some paired interviews; naturally, as co-leads, Brooke and Vanessa had been put together for all of theirs.

The panel rolled around too quickly, and Brooke found herself on stage in a line with Michelle, Asia and Katya to her right, Vanessa and the rest of the cast to her left. There was an audience of a few hundred in front of them, and their moderator was a woman called Monét.

“Hi everyone,” Monét began, receiving cheers in response. She introduced each person on stage and gave out some background information on the movie before scrolling on her iPad and launching into the questions. Brooke spared Vanessa a glance, but her co-star seemed strangely out of it. Brooke wanted to bring her back to reality, check she was okay, but she couldn’t catch her eye. As a result, Brooke missed the first couple of questions, and was thankful that none of them seemed to be directed at her. She made a mental note not to watch the panel back later and scrutinise herself for a lack of professionalism that would no doubt be obvious to her own eyes.

“Katya, I wanna talk about your decision to be involved in the creative process of the movie. What made you want to take an active role in the production of _As The Stars Align_?” Monét asked as Katya’s face lit up.

“This project is my baby,” Katya began with a slight chuckle. “This story is so special to me and to be honest, I don’t trust these bitches unsupervised,” — the audience laughed and Katya’s eyes widened as she apologised and asked whether she was allowed to swear.

“But in all seriousness, I did want to make sure it was done right. A lot of LGBT people, especially young ones, have told me directly how much my book means to them and I didn’t want to let them down. It’s why I wanted the diverse cast and crew that we have. Unfortunately, they happen to be horrible monsters to work with,” Katya joked.

“Speaking of monsters…” Monét grinned wickedly. “Vanessa, what was it like working with _the_ Brooke Lynn Hytes? And playing love interests no less?”

Brooke blushed slightly, turning to Vanessa with a quirked eyebrow. Vanessa looked caught off guard.

“Lemme think how I’m gon answer that,” she teased after a few seconds. “And get your camera phones out, I know y’all be recording and tagging.”

“Please, everyone's _dying_ to know if the diva rumours are true,” Monét carried on sarcastically.

“Working with Brooke Lynn was… an experience,” Vanessa began, earning some stifled laughs from those on stage who knew their shared history. “She’s damn fierce at what she does — if I’ve had even a fifth of the career she’s had by the time I’m her age, it’ll be a blessing.”

“You calling me old, bitch?” Brooke quipped, and the audience laughed again in delight, but Brooke had seen Vanessa smile enough times to know that her heart wasn’t in the one she was giving her right now.

The rest of Monét’s questions went off without a hitch, but when they directed the line of enquiry to journalists in the audience, Brooke felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at the unpredictability of it all. One of the paparazzi introduced himself as being from Fox News, and Brooke wondered how she was going to pretend to be nice to this man.

She’d expected casual sexism or homophobia, but she almost threw up a bit at the actual words that the words left the reporter’s mouth.

“Brooke and Vanessa, we’ve had many inside sources claim they saw you both enter the same hotel room on the night of the wrap party. What I want to ask is, is there any truth to the speculation that the two of you are romantically involved?”

Monét had to hush the rumblings of the audience, giving Brooke a few extra seconds to think on her feet. Vanessa looked horrified (which Brooke would’ve taken offence to if she didn’t feel so bad for her) and was choking on air, most likely thanking her luck that they had been saddled with passing a few microphones around rather than wearing them.

“Brooke, Vanessa, feel free not to answer that. I’m speaking to the management about vetting as soon as this is over,” Monét said, only half kidding.

“It’s okay. Vanessa and I aren’t together, but wouldn’t that be quite the story?” Brooke replied, the words tasting like salt. “However, she has become a very good friend of mine, and, um, she deserves the world. All the amazing humans on this stage do.” The audience aww-ed and ahh-ed, touched.

“Y’all heard me earlier, I wouldn’t be caught dead with her senior ass,” Vanessa exaggerated, Brooke laughing despite the joke made at her expense, gratefully that Vanessa was able to lighten the mood.

After another twenty minutes of audience questions, thankfully none as invasive as the first, they departed the stage and took a lunch break before their upcoming afternoon of paired interviews. Everyone ate together at a big table, Vanessa sat a few seats down from Brooke, and she was still being unusually quiet.

Brooke hated not hearing her loud voice soaring above all the rest.

—

Vanessa’s Halloween party had not gone to plan.

She had envisioned it so well — Brooke would arrive just as Vanessa was a couple of drinks in wearing a bomb costume; they’d lock eyes from across the room and the spark would be reignited. They’d spend all night catching up, just the two of them in their own corner, and maybe one of them would make a move.

Maybe she’d had her hopes too high expecting a grand love declaration or a kiss that swept her off her feet, but she thought Brooke would at least be down to continue whatever they started. Instead, her day had ended with Brooke telling her that she wanted to pretend that night had never happened.

Vanessa was fucking crushed.

She had never experienced heartbreak, not really — her only relationship had been Matt, and she had been more relieved than sad when it was over. But she was completely devastated to realise that her fantasies of a future with Brooke would remain fantasies. Vanessa hated herself for falling for Brooke so hard and fast, especially since the intensity of her feelings were clearly unreciprocated.

Vanessa was also, despite being a professional actor, completely terrible at hiding her feelings. When she was in character — following a script — she was mostly able to detach herself completely and convey any emotion regardless of whether it was one she able to empathise with, but when she was being herself it was no use.

She was sure fans would pick up on it, would question why Vanessa wasn’t her usual bubbly, loud self on stage. If only they knew.

Her first joint interview with Brooke was with a tall, blonde woman named Alaska, who wrote for an LGBT magazine. When Vanessa joined her in the small press room, Brooke Lynn was already there, early as ever (except for her Halloween party, Vanessa thought bitterly).

“Hi, girls,” Alaska drawled. Her questions were pleasantly thoughtful, focussing on the message of the movie, allowing them to give in depth, individual answers, though afterwards they were ordered to up the chemistry between the two of them, so clearly they hadn’t been everything the publication was looking for.

And she had to give it to her — from then on, Brooke did start making an effort to connect with Vanessa in her responses, even though Vanessa struggled to put their personal issues aside.

After more interviews that seemed to go on forever, mostly with male reporters who were as boring as they were old, they had one final discussion with a girl named Tatianna, which would be printed rather than filmed. She was more gossipy, but just as sweet as Alaska had been.

“Ladies, this one's a little personal, so just let me know if you want to move on and we’ll cut it out. I don’t know your identities, but I was wondering whether your own experiences with sexuality have influenced the way you play these characters, and your decision to take on LGBT roles.”

Vanessa looked at Brooke, hesitance etched over her features, and it suddenly clicked that Brooke was a celebrity, and her sexuality wasn’t public knowledge — Vanessa had been oblivious before Brooke had come out to her. She didn’t know why the thought had never occurred to her before, but she realised that Brooke was most likely being intentionally private about her sexuality for whatever reasons and she didn’t want to put her in a compromising situation, no matter how frustrated she was with her right now.

“Obviously, I can’t speak for Brooke, but yeah, it definitely played a role for me. I’m bisexual, and there was such a lack of bi representation for me growing up — there still is now, and of LGBT representation in general. I always assumed I was straight, ‘cos I didn’t even really know that liking more than one gender was a thing. There was no bi figures, in fiction or the media, or if there was, they were constantly being erased… but that’s a whole other discussion, Mary.” Vanessa noticed that Brooke looked utterly engaged in what she was saying, and it was nice to feel heard and understood.

“So yeah, I was definitely conscious as a bi person about taking queer roles. We deserve to tell our own stories, you know? I feel like having a movie like this with such a diverse cast would’ve really helped the teenage me who was just trying to figure herself out.”

Tatianna nodded compassionately, before turning towards Brooke.

“I, uh. I agree LGBT representation is so important, and the way it’s handled is always an indicator on quality in a script. I feel like people of any sexuality can relate to queer roles — especially women, or people of colour, anyone who knows what it feels like to be marginalised or a minority. But yeah, there’s definitely a lot of me in my character,” Brooke confessed, smiling half-heartedly.

“Well, this has been a very insightful conversation. Thank you both for your time,” Tatianna concluded, shaking their hands.

The interviewer began talking with the behind the scenes people whose jobs were a mystery to Vanessa.

“Girl, what a day,” Vanessa yawned, hoping they would be given the okay to leave soon.

“Ness, I… I’m proud of you, you know,” Brooke said. Vanessa’s heart melted with both affection and sadness at Brooke’s gentle voice, and properly looked her in the eyes for the first time in days.

“Bitch, don’t get soft with me.”

“I’m serious… you just, like, came out to the whole world. That’s a big deal.”

“Well, not the whole world, just Refinery29 readers,” Vanessa joked. Brooke laughed a disproportionate amount.

“You ever think you’ll do it? I just realised we never talked about all that —” Brooke’s face became immediately pensive at Vanessa’s question.

“Sure,” she decided after a few moments of reflection. “I mean, I have my hang-ups, but if I got into a really serious relationship, I wouldn’t wanna hide it, y’know?” — Vanessa nodded — “but sometimes I worry that I’ve left it too late. Like, what if everyone feels I’ve been lying by omission all these years and I end up betraying both straight people and the LGBT community at the same time?”

“Ima stop you right there, girl,” Vanessa cut her off. “You don’t owe nothing to nobody, got it? If you do it, it’s gotta be on your own terms. Gay people won’t give a shit that it didn’t happen earlier, they know how it is. Trust me, if they ever find out Brooke Lynn Hytes is one of them, they ain’t gonna be mad.”

Brooke raised her eyebrows, and Vanessa wondered if she knew she was projecting.

“And I’m not done. To address your other concern. If homophobes are pissed then you’re doing something right. You finessed them and got their homophobic coin, be proud, bitch!”

“You know, surprisingly, that made me feel a lot better. Thanks, Ness,” Brooke shared with a small smile.

And Vanessa felt better, too. The issues between her and Brooke couldn’t be magically fixed, but for now, a weight had been lifted.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait again! If y'all need a refresher: previously, Vanessa came out to the press and had some words of wisdom for Brooke, Halloween was messy, and both our girls are dumb, soft and can't communicate :)

As the few weeks of movie promotion unfolded, Brooke and Vanessa still hadn’t restored their relationship to what it used to be, but on a professional level they were better than ever. In every interview they were bouncing off of each other, lighting up the camera, the fans and the press already pronouncing them a dynamic duo. A video of the two of them playing _Co-stars for Cash_ had even made the top twitter moment a couple of days, a sight which had almost given Vanessa a heart attack when she saw it.

It was fun, but it made her miss their true friendship more than ever. Since the moment they shared over her coming out, there hadn’t been a single interaction between them that wasn’t on film, or on a stage, or witnessed by outsiders.

There was only the premiere left, and awards season should they be so lucky to be nominated, and after that they’d have no reason to see each other unless they actually got their shit together and made their friendship work. It was dumb as hell to let one night get in the way of how far they’d come.

So if Brooke wasn’t going to be the first to reach out then fuck it, Vanessa would do it herself. That hoe wasn’t about to get rid of her so easily. After a few minutes of internally debating with herself, she decided to call Brooke before she lost her nerve.

“Vanessa, oh my God, is everything okay?” Brooke greeted her worriedly, thankfully picking up after only two rings.

“Yes! Yes, everything’s fine, I’m just bored, my girls are out of town. Sorry to blindside you like that babe,” Vanessa replied, trying sound as cool and platonic as possible. The ‘babe’ probably didn’t help her case there, but she let it slip out anyway.

“Yeah, off-days are weird,” Brooke laughed.

“You wanna, uh, grab a coffee or something?”

Brooke confirmed that she was down, and Vanessa hurried to make herself as presentable as possible in the short time she had. She put her dark curls up into a messy bun, applied some light makeup and decided that her favourite oversized hoodie and some tights would do.

Half an hour later, she was sat in Starbucks opposite Brooke. It had been a while since she’d seen the other woman without the professionally applied makeup and her hair done, and she looked straight up adorable in her fluffy turtleneck and jeans.

“Damn, I needed this,” Brooke said, sipping on her black coffee.

“I know. Bitch, I slept like a baby last night, but I swear I’m still exhausted after this months crazy-ass schedule. I need a nap for like, a week.”

Brooke nodded agreeably.

“Same, but I’m so restless. It’s like I don’t even know what to do with my time off.” Vanessa knew the feeling — it was hard to escape the feeling that she should be doing _something,_ especially right now with her career reaching new heights. Every day was supposed to be a hustle.

“Well you can always hit me up, girl,” Vanessa said offhandedly with a grin. Brooke swallowed and didn’t smile back — maybe she was also thinking about the last time they spent proper, one-on-one time together — and Vanessa felt her mouth going dry. No, this was bad, very bad, no one person should have this much of an effect on her. They needed to be better at being _friends._

“So, why’s the premiere happening in London anyway? Were all the LA theatres booked or somethin’?” Vanessa inquired, wanting to quell the nervous energy, even though she already knew why.

“Well, we only get one premiere. And Katya’s insisting that we all deserve a vacation away from LA.”

“ _Vacation_ is a weird word to describe five days in the UK shivering my pussy off,” Vanessa huffed. In reality, she was kind of looking forward to the trip — she had never been to Europe before, and she could see herself spending part of December living out her _Love, Actually_ daydream.

“Don’t lie, you’re excited,” Brooke smiled. “Besides, you’ll have me there to keep you warm,” she winked.

Vanessa flushed at Brooke’s comment, perplexed as to why she was still going there after blatantly rejecting the idea of anything sexual between them only weeks ago.

Brooke kept up her flirty nature for the rest of their meeting together, and Vanessa felt like she was balancing two alter egos — the cheerful facade she was putting on for her company (which was surely unconvincing), and her spiralling inner monologue that was just trying to work Brooke out.

The mystery and iciness had been part of what had drawn Vanessa to Brooke Lynn, but right now she really wished she was more of an open book.

—

“I’ve ruined _everything,_ Nina,” Brooke flopped onto her bed with a sigh, unable to care about the piles of clothes beneath her that were now being squashed. “I’m the dumbest person alive.”

“Trust me, I know. We share five brain cells between us, and I possess four of them,” Nina quipped unsympathetically as she attempted to organise Brooke’s packing for London.

“I’m serious you bitch. I literally can’t stop fucking up. I told myself that I’d done enough and that it’ll be a miracle if she even wants to be friends with me anymore, but then she said the sweetest words on how I shouldn’t feel pressured to come out and I swear to God…” Brooke trailed off, not wanting to divulge how she’d flirted with Vanessa in the cafe to no results. She felt like she’d promised herself, everyone she knew and their mom to keep things strictly friendship between the two of them, knowing that was all Vanessa was after, and yet —

it was as if there were small roots of hope growing inside her that just wouldn’t die, no matter how much she refused to water them, no longer allowing her mind to entertain the fantasy.

“Is this the part where you admit that you’re not over her?” Nina asked with a smirk. Brooke groaned in defeat — it wasn’t like lying to Nina or herself had gotten her anywhere thus far.

“Fine. _I love her_ , is that what you wanna hear?” It came out like word vomit, and Brooke felt tears prick her eyes.

“My, my. The Ice Queen is thawed,” Nina pronounced ceremoniously, her faux shock exaggerated. Of course Nina would treat this as a goddamn improv exercise.

“Fuck you, Nina. I love her, _I’m literally in love with her,_ what the fuck. Help me!”

“Aww, you can’t stop saying it. It’s pretty cute honey,” Nina giggled, plopping herself down next to Brooke on the bed. She started to rub comforting circles on Brooke’s back as Brooke’s tears began to fall.

“I’ve made such a mess.”

“Go from the start, B. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. You were always a pessimist.”

Brooke took a deep breath.

“On Halloween, when you forced us to talk, it was just… awkward. So I told her we didn’t have to discuss what happened between us, we should just leave it at that, and she agreed it was for the best, and then she looked so sad and I knew she regretted it ever happening because Lord knows what we used to have isn’t ever coming back…” Brooke burst out, feeling like a rambling, sobbing disaster of a human being. “Press was fun and we had that moment after Tatianna’s interview, and then we got coffee together and I thought things were going back to normal. And maybe they were, at least until I started flirting with her and made everything tense all over again. She’ll probably never act like that with me again, even in a friendly way, because it carries so much more weight now and she won’t want to give me the wrong idea…”

Nina handed her mug of tea, and Brooke didn’t think she’d ever been told to shut up in a more tactful way.

“Brooke, love. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason Vanessa was so upset on Halloween was because you essentially rejected her and shut her down before you guys could even properly discuss what happened and how you both feel?”

Brooke shook her head, frowning. There was no way that Vanessa actually wanted to be with her.

“Well, I think you should consider it. And you know I wouldn’t want you getting your hopes up for no reason. But it makes sense, Brooke. She was hurt by what you said but she was trying. But then you started flirting with her again, and now she’s confused.”

Brooke felt pathetic as her eyes sprung more waterfalls, competing with Niagara over which could be the most impressive tourist attraction. Both possibilities were bad — she’d either hurt Vanessa by ruining their friendship, or hurt her by breaking her heart.

“I know you find it hard to believe. But you deserve to be loved, Brooke. Vanessa would be lucky to have you.”

“I have to talk to her. For real,” Brooke said as she buried her face in tissues.

“Yes. But first, you have to pack.”

—

Brooke was going to talk to Vanessa.

But it had to be the right time. She didn’t want to contact her before London and risk everything going haywire before the premiere, so she would wait.

The days leading up to the trip were torture, and the flight to London was also a slog. Vanessa had looked strangely lonely as they’d waited in LAX, surrounded by her manager Ra’jah and the rest of their party, and Brooke wondered whether she missed Silky and A’keria. She assumed they wouldn’t be in London until later, if they were coming to the premiere at all. Perhaps Vanessa even missed Matt.

She’d sat by herself on the flight, a couple of rows in front of Brooke. Brooke had wanted to go and sit with her so badly, but with Asia to her left and Michelle to her right — locking her in conversation — it was hard to get away. When she finally slipped off to check on Vanessa, her co-star had fallen asleep, looking more soft and peaceful than Brooke had ever seen her, and Nina gave her a pitying passing glance on Brooke’s way back to her seat.

When they arrived at Heathrow airport, they were exhausted, though some of the group were still in good spirits, excited and delirious and somehow still finding things to laugh about as they whizzed through customs at a speed that Brooke had become used to after all her years of fame.

Brooke was too tired to socialise. She ushered Nina into one of the hired cars that was there to pick them up, and she _definitely_ didn’t pick that specific one because she’d seen Vanessa get in it with Ra’jah already. And she certainly didn’t let her eyes flitter between the scenery outside her window and Vanessa, who was even prettier than the London skylines; a picture perfect view herself.

As they neared the centre of the city, Christmas lights became more and more abundant, and Brooke felt soothed as she noticed the creases and frowns in Vanessa’s face melt away.

It scared Brooke how much Vanessa’s happiness could make or break her own.

When they got to the luxury hotel they were staying in, it was gone midnight. Brooke checked her phone for the first time since landing and noticed few-hour old text from Yvie saying that her and Scarlet had made it to London— most of the cast and crew would be flying in individually, but Nina and Ra’jah had decided to work with Michelle, Asia and Katya’s plans in order to get a hotel discount. Or because they clearly thought Brooke and Vanessa’s idea of a relaxing vacation was spending five days with each other and their former bosses. Brooke didn’t particularly care to think about the reasoning right now, she just wanted to go to bed. Even though it was only four pm or so in LA, their flight had been in the early hours of the morning and she’d been unable to sleep on the plane, so she’d lost count of the hours she’d gone without rest.

“We have a slight situation,” Asia said as she walked over to the group with a grimace, the receptionist in tow.

“This is so embarrassing, and I am so sorry for any inconvenience, but it appears we have only reserved six rooms for your party instead of seven, and the rest of the hotel is fully booked for the next two nights,” the attendant said, young and clearly nervous. Brooke wondered how often he had to endure the repercussions mistakes likely made by others. She knew that the most practical option would be for two of the ‘single’ people — her, Vanessa, Nina, Ra’jah and Asia — to double up for the two nights they wouldn’t all be able to have their own rooms.

“Of course, you will be compensated for this error, and I can recommend other hotels within a walking distance if you should prefer…”

“Y’all couldn’t pay me nothin’ to go outside again tonight,” Vanessa piped up.

It _was_ cold as hell and the more minutes they spent discussing this, the more minutes Brooke wasn’t in her bed.

“I agree, I really just wanna go to sleep,” Brooke chimed in.

“So will you two be okay to share?” Nina asked her, sounding perkier already, and Brooke would’ve sworn it was a set up if Nina hadn’t been as surprised as she was to learn of the mix-up.

“Uh, sure, if it’s okay with Vanessa,” Brooke said awkwardly. “Or you and I could room together.”

“I’m an old lady, Brooke, think of my back,” Nina spewed possibly the biggest load of bullshit Brooke had ever heard. Brooke rolled her eyes, knowing Nina was having the time of her life with this.

“Looks like we’re having a sleepover,” Vanessa confirmed, Brooke smiling cautiously in response. The receptionist apologised profusely once again and began handing out their keys —

“Nina, what the hell,” Brooke said under her breath as she stood close to the other woman.

“This could be exactly what you need, Brooke. You know you need to talk things out, you said so yourself.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to trap her into a conversation in the middle of the night in a foreign country,” Brooke hissed.

“Let’s go, roomie,” Vanessa called. Brooke sighed, as she tried to rack her brain and pinpoint the exact moment her life became such a fucking cliché.

—

Vanessa could deal with sharing a room with Brooke. She wasn’t thrilled by the idea, but it was only for two nights, and who knew whether they’d even make it to bed tomorrow with all the partying that was bound to occur after the premiere.

They each filed into the elevator, and when half the group started wheeling their cases out a couple levels up, all Vanessa could think was _of course they put Brooke and I on the highest floor._ All that was left was for the two of them to get stuck in the lift, alone, and to not be rescued until hours later. Vanessa held her breath the entire ride up, only letting it out when the doors closed on the floor below theirs, and Asia and Nina were still hadn’t left them.

“Now, remember Nina and I are right around the corner, and I have the hearing of a bat. So no _funny business_ , you two,” Asia grinned cheekily. Vanessa wanted the ground to swallow her.

Brooke gave Nina a goodnight hug, and then the two of them walked silently a few doors down to their room.

Vanessa fiddled with the key card, trying to get it to work, but it was stubborn and Vanessa was faltering under Brooke’s gaze.

“I hate these damn things,” she stressed. Brooke took it from her, accidentally brushing her fingers in the process, mumbling an apology. When the light went green and the lock clicked open on her first try, Vanessa rolled her eyes in the darkness.

The room was cute — fairly spacious and mostly white with mahogany and burnt orange accents, the decor matching the warmth of the festive lights which sparkled outside their window. Vanessa had been disappointed when they’d arrived in London to the bitter cold yet none of the snow, but the shimmering river view was even more special than any kind of winter wonderland she’d conjured up in her mind.

“Fancy bath we got in there,” Brooke stated a few minutes later as she stepped out of their en suite, probably just to break the ice.

She was in a matching tank top and shorts, and Vanessa forced her eyes to stay on her face as much as they wanted to drift over Brooke’s long legs and soft cleavage.

“You sayin’ I smell or are you offering?” Vanessa deadpanned. In her hazy state of mind, she decided two could play at the game Brooke had started.

Because that was all Vanessa was to Brooke. A game.

Brooke wanted to tease and flirt and play with her, but she _didn’t_ _want her._

“Ha, you wish,” Brooke replied coolly, her voice slightly stilted. Apparently the day’s travels and the night’s hotel shenanigans had left the both of them tense. “Just letting you know it’s there, if you’re interested —”

“Well, it should put that on it’s dating profile,” Vanessa joked, feeling victorious when Brooke chuckled softly in response. “But for real girl, I’m beat, so unless you wanna be dragging my drowned corpse out tomorrow morning…”

“And get the bed to myself tonight? I’ll take it,” Brooke smiled.

“Bitch. If this is the last time y’all see me alive, it’s on you,” Vanessa stuck out her tongue, heading into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When she returned, Brooke had already closed the curtains and snuggled herself under the covers, her face lit up only by the light of her phone screen and the dull glow of Vanessa’s lamp.

“Hey,” Vanessa said quietly.

“She lives.”

The bed was big, much bigger than Vanessa’s double in her own apartment, and she climbed in the opposite side to Brooke, her heart physically aching at how content she felt lying beside her.

How right it felt, despite the last time they were in a hotel room together being under such different circumstances.

Even the roars and sirens of the bustling outdoor streets were unusually comforting.

“Vanessa?”

Brooke’s tone was questioning, and so faint Vanessa almost missed it.

“Yeah?” Vanessa whispered.

Brooke took so long to reply, Vanessa wasn’t sure whether she’d heard her either, or if she was even still awake.

“I…”

“Are you okay?” — worry was growing in Vanessa’s stomach and she wanted so badly to reach her hand across the distance between them.

“I just… I miss you. I’m sorry, I’m being dumb, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Brooke spoke so sadly and Vanessa knew she was crying even without seeing her face.

She’d been rejected, flirted with and now _missed_ by this woman all in the space of a few weeks and the rational part of her brain was telling her that Brooke was just tired, she was in an unfamiliar place away from home and she would break Vanessa’s heart even worse if she made promises tonight that she couldn’t keep tomorrow.

Still, her hand searched for Brooke’s anyway, intertwining their fingers as their bodies stayed separate, her other thumb feeling Brooke’s cheek out and wiping away her tears.

“Let’s not talk about this tonight, okay? But I swear we will. And you know I ain’t a liar,” Vanessa vowed. She felt Brooke nod into her hand.

“Goodnight, Vanessa,” Brooke sighed as Vanessa turned her back to her, but shuffled closer, letting Brooke’s arm drape over her body.

“Goodnight Brooke.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I'm back at uni now so things may be a little slow until they settle down. I hope this was worth it though :)
> 
> Outfit references: Brooke's DCLA day 1 look and a m&g look she's been wearing a lot recently, Vanessa's s11 top 5 runway (but kind of better and no undergarments showing) and her reunion look.

When Brooke opened her eyes on the morning of the premiere, the bed was cold and she realised quickly that Vanessa was no longer lying next to her. Disappointment and confusion — _Brooke was the early bird of the two of them_ — followed by panic — _had Vanessa left in the night?_ — suddenly hit her, making her wide awake in seconds.

Though, she was slightly relieved to have a few moments alone to gather her thoughts.

Brooke didn’t even know where to start.

She knew that she was embarrassed. She’d openly sobbed and cried over missing Vanessa, _right in front of Vanessa._ Brooke knew it was simply the consequence of being closed off for so long, keeping all of her feelings for the other woman bottled inside. V probably thought she was pathetic.

But.

Vanessa had dried her tears, held her hand and they had _cuddled._ With all the women Brooke had brought home, not once had she been that intimate with them afterwards. And her and Vanessa hadn’t even had sex.

Brooke wanted to do it again, and the hope she’d kept suppressed for so long was now bubbling to the surface. Vanessa had promised they’d talk and instigated the rest of their closeness — that had to mean something. She had comforted Brooke like she _knew_ , and Brooke only hoped that Vanessa hadn’t misinterpreted her intentions.

With Vanessa gone already, though, she wasn’t going to let her fantasies run away with her just yet. Maybe she’d realised in the night what a horrible thing it would be to date Brooke, or woken up full of regret that she’d let Brooke hold her out of pity.

Brooke was rattled from her overthinking by the sound of the door barging open; Brooke sat up quickly and picked up her phone, not wanting to look like she had even given Vanessa a second thought. Her jaw dropped as she saw that it was already _eleven am_ — how had she slept for so long? She couldn’t believe how comfy she’d let herself get being in the same bed as Vanessa.

“Hey,” Vanessa greeted her, with eyes bouncing across the room and a smile that didn’t feel legitimate. “Sorry, I went for breakfast. I didn’t wanna wake you.”

“No, it’s fine,” Brooke urged.

“I’m gonna shower,” Vanessa declared, making no immediate moves to leave.

“Okay. I guess I’ll go eat.”

“Hair and makeup are getting here at three, just so you know.” Vanessa was off to the en suite quick enough, and Brooke knew that whatever chat they would be having wasn’t happening now.

When Brooke arrived at the breakfast bar, she was less than overjoyed to spot Nina, seated and still finishing her brunch, her manager slash friend quickly noticing her arrival and beckoning her over to the table.

“So…” Nina began.

“What?” Brooke snapped — if it were to anyone else she might’ve felt bad, but Nina understood that she was just like this before her morning caffeine.

“You and _Vanessa…_ ” — Nina’s wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“…Are not A Thing. There is no ‘me and Vanessa.”

“But what about last night?” Nina pouted.

“Nothing happened, Neens. But we’re gonna talk it out soon. Unless Vanessa’s forgotten already,” Brooke muttered, sounding more bitter than she realised she felt.

“Go get your coffee, Brooke Lynn,” Nina ordered her, shaking her head.

—

“And so, I woke up this morning and freaked the fuck out, like what if she was just in a vulnerable state of mind and now she thinks I was taking advantage of it?”

“Vanj, you ain’t done none of that. You comforted her like any good friend would,” Silky reassured Vanessa, knowing this was just another of her romance-related meltdowns.

“‘Cept we aren’t really even friends. Or maybe we are, I don’t know,” Vanessa huffed. When Brooke had gone for breakfast, Vanessa knew she had to get out before she got back. She wasn’t sure she could handle spending the entire afternoon cooped up with Brooke, the elephant in the room hanging over them.

“Well, you can worry about that white girl tomorrow. This is your big night!” A’keria reminded her. Her and Silky had met with Vanessa straight off of their flight into London, Vanessa having secured them tickets for the premiere, and they were eating lunch and passing the time before they would all retreat to their respective hotels to get ready.

“You’re right, enough about her,” Vanessa concurred. “I’m so happy y’all are here with me. I can’t wait.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the finest food or mans I could get my hands on,” Silky drawled. “Of course we came. We’re so proud of you, Vanj.”

Vanessa rubbed her eyes furiously as they became misty — Silk always knew how to make her cry, but she’d be damned if she was gonna let that bitch get her face all puffy on today of all days.

“Shut up. I’m proud of you guys too, y’know. I can’t wait to see you out there.”

“Oh, Miss Thing, you gon’ eat your words when I outshine you on that carpet later,” A’keria teased, and Vanessa admitted that she could see it happening, especially with the stunning gold gown A’keria had picked out, but she wasn’t mad about it.

“Gag the kids, bitch,” Vanessa chuckled.

“We gonna look like a pair of queens,” Silky bumped her shoulder against A’keria’s. “And you know orange is my colour.”

“Fuck me and my custom-made Dior fit, am I right?” Vanessa hid her smirk behind her cocktail glass.

“You gotta let us have this, sis. You gon’ have enough eyes on you already,” A’keria pointed out.

“Kiki’s right,” Silky echoed. “Miss Brooke Lynn ain’t gonna wanna keep her hands off you.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes as A’keria scolded Silky for bringing up Brooke again, but Vanessa would be lying if she said she wasn’t the teeniest bit curious in seeing Brooke’s reaction to her floor-length, strapless, emerald green gown.

The trio spent another hour or so catching up, but before Vanessa knew it, it was gone two pm and she realised she would have to get back to the hotel and shower.

When she arrived back in her room, a small crew of people had already gathered, setting up their beauty stations for Brooke and Vanessa. The four women introduced themselves as Shea, Naomi, Fame and Raven, and Vanessa couldn’t get over the fact that these model-esque creatures would be transforming her.

They spent the afternoon getting Vanessa and Brooke ready, the two co-stars scarcely finding an instant to talk to each other as they sat dutifully and sipped on champagne, Vanessa settling for glances at Brooke’s makeover as their team ran around like fairy godmothers, focussed, the sound of the upbeat playlist making up for the lack of conversation.

By around six, they’d finished working their magic and Brooke and Vanessa were ready to go. Shea listed off a bunch of instructions about how a car would arrive for them but Vanessa couldn’t repeat when — she was too distracted trying _not to be distracted_ by Brooke.

As soon as the girls had left, Brooke made herself busy picking up things to pack in her clutch, her red satin gown billowing around her. Vanessa was slightly tipsy and fuck it, Brooke just looked too stunning not to tell her so.

“Brooke — you look amazing,” Vanessa blurted and Brooke turned to her like a deer in headlights.

“Thank you,” she smiled shyly. “You’re gorgeous.” She didn’t try to hold the moment. “Well, this is it,” Brooke declared.

“Right!” Vanessa exclaimed, the significance of the night dawning on her. “We’re finally getting to see the product of months of our lives condensed into two hours. It’s so weird.”

“Yeah, that feeling never really goes away,” Brooke said with a chuckle. “Are you nervous?”

“… Kind of, yeah,” Vanessa exhaled shakily. “The first movie I was in — we had no idea it was gonna blow up like it did. The experience was more like bein’ in someone’s film school project. But this is a big deal and shit. It’s overwhelming, thinkin’ about all the reviews and reception…”

“I hope it’s good. But they’re gonna love you, Ness, trust me. Michelle would’ve fired your ass if you were anything less than perfect,” Brooke winked.

“I think she almost did a few times,” Vanessa deadpanned, and they laughed together. “What about you, anyway? You nervous?”

“I actually am,” Brooke confessed, scrunching her nose up in slight embarrassment. “I don’t like watching myself on screen.”

Vanessa had been ready to poke fun, but Brooke’s insecurity took her aback. She decided to press it, curiosity getting the better of her, and not seeing any way this was gonna end other than her complimenting her co-star.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, it’s not, like, a huge thing,” Brooke backtracked slightly. “But let’s just say the creation of HD was a blessing and a curse. Especially at my age.”

“Bitch, are you even thirty?” Vanessa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Brooke was one of the most beautiful people she’d ever seen; she didn’t wanna say she was _the_ most, that would be so corny, but she knew if she thought about it she wouldn’t be able to come up with a single other person she found more attractive.

“No, I know. And I’m grateful, I’m not complaining. I just don’t wanna land a Daily Mail headline about how I might’ve grown a grey hair on my head,” Brooke gave an eye roll.

“That’s impossible, we all know you one-hundred percent bleach,” Vanessa smiled affectionately. “And for what it’s worth, I fuckin’ like watchin’ you on screen. And in person. And anywhere I can see that pretty face of yours.”

Vanessa yelled at herself internally for sounding so damn creepy, and was about to apologise when Brooke thanked her, looking genuinely moved.

There was a knock at the door.

“Ten minutes, girls!” Nina called from outside, and Vanessa grabbed her belongings, taking one last look in the mirror. The beauty team had really made her feel like a million bucks — every detail of her look was on point, from the slick black cat eye and cascading glossy curls to the immaculately tailored emerald dress and matching green eye shadow. She took a few deep breaths, knowing she was headed for some of the most hectic hours of her life.

“You’re gonna do great. I’ll protect you from the scary paparazzi,” Brooke said, appearing in the mirror behind her and tucking a lock of hair behind Vanessa’s ear.

“You promise?” Vanessa turned to her with a pout.

“Only if you promise to sit with me in the theatre?” Brooke raised uncertainly, like she didn’t know whether she was asking for too much.

“Want me to draw up a seating plan?” Vanessa joked, but linked her pinky with Brooke to show that she didn’t mean it.

“It would just feel wrong not to experience it together.” Brooke blushed, a rosy glow becoming visible under pounds of makeup, and her close proximity to Vanessa was doing nothing to stabilise the latter woman’s heart rate.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way —” and with that Vanessa went one step beyond a verbal affirmation, giving Brooke’s hand a squeeze, wanting nothing more than to keep them connected as they paraded in front of the press and the fans and the cameras.

“We better get going.” Brooke let her hand drop, drawing her eyes away from Vanessa and touching up her nude lip.

Vanessa thought it already looked perfect.

—

Brooke took a separate car from Vanessa to the premiere — all the stars went individually. Nina rode with her, but as soon as they pulled up at Leicester Square, they waited for Vanessa to arrive so Brooke could accompany her.

The crowds went crazy when they spotted Brooke and Vanessa together, the two of them walking closely but not touching. Brooke couldn’t keep the smile off her face and Vanessa looked absolutely radiant as she walked by her side, her anxiety seemingly completely dissipated. Despite the weird relationship limbo they were in, Brooke was, for once, glad for the presence of the photographers; she hadn’t been so blissfully happy in a long time, and she wanted to preserve the moment forever.

They began by making their way down the barriers, signing whatever they could and taking selfies with as many people as possible. Brooke felt her heart swell when she saw someone _literally hand Vanessa their child,_ Vanessa looking at the little kid like they hung the moon and stars.

Interviews were next, and some of the reporters were sensitive and thoughtful, some were gossipy or just plain rude. She had been expecting it after the panel, but further interrogation over her and Vanessa’s relationship was like a punch to the gut. Or more precisely, having to deny the rumours was the part that hurt.

In between a break in her interviews, Brooke overheard a particular question for Vanessa that caught her attention —

“Vanessa, you recently came out as bisexual. We want to applaud you, of course, but we have to ask: was it hard for you control your urges around an actress as beautiful as Brooke Lynn?”

Maybe the reporter meant it as a joke, a way to drum up some flirty camaraderie between the two co-stars, or maybe not, but Brooke felt instantly protective over Vanessa as she became visibly uncomfortable. Under different circumstances, Brooke was sure she would’ve snapped back angrily or delivered some witty retort, but the awkward newness of the situation that hit a little too close to home left her buffering enough to make Youtube jealous.

Brooke wrapped her arms around Vanessa from behind, feeling the smaller woman instantly relax, stepping in with a “we’ll bypass how inappropriate that question was,” her overly polite tone matching her passive-aggressive smile. She didn’t want some asshole bigots to ruin their night.

“This beauty doesn’t have to control anything on _my_ account. Have you _seen her?_ ” Brooke continued, planting a quick peck on Vanessa’s cheek.

“I’m uh, very sorry,” the reporter said, seeming both equally surprised and confused at Brooke’s level of comfort with her co-star, and not in the least bit sincerely apologetic. Vanessa rolled her eyes, grabbing Brooke’s hand and leading Brooke towards the main event.

Brooke couldn’t deny she was a natural at red carpets; she’d always been good at knowing her angles and selling a garment, plus years of photoshoots had given her more than enough experience. But she was utterly compelled by the way Vanessa strutted and posed for the cameras. Brooke’s poise and confidence were unparalleled, but Brooke could tell that Vanessa’s attitude and charisma oozed into every photo she was in.

And when a chorus of voices called out for them stand and model together, _who were they to refuse?_ And Brooke had obliged, gently holding Vanessa by the small of her back as she felt arms wrap around her waist. She’d gone with smaller heels to balance out Vanessa’s skyscraper ones, and they were almost eye level with each other, a fact that Vanessa was happy to take advantage of as she whispered into Brooke’s ear non-stop, hyping her up and telling jokes and making shady comments.

It felt like a secret that only the two of them were in on; hidden from the world in plain sight.

—

For the rest of the red carpet, Brooke and Vanessa were inseparable, even as they stopped to take photos with the rest of their cast and crew. They raised some eyebrows here and there, but Vanessa couldn’t find it in her to care.

She knew she could take care of herself, and she could handle anything thrown at her in this business, but the way Brooke had come to the rescue in her interview had been exactly what she needed, and from the right person. She could’ve responded better herself, but she knew the reporter had been out of line — and maybe she was being paranoid, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that his motives hadn’t been entirely harmless. He’d made her feel embarrassed, exposed and disgusting in just one sentence and she hated it.

She forced herself to forget it, and being with Brooke made it so easy to do so. They eventually filed into the theatre, making their way onto the stage with Michelle and the rest of the cast and crew. Most of the rest of the audience had already been seated and were waiting for the film to start. Brooke made sure to keep checking up on Vanessa, shooting her reaffirming smiles at every possible second, and Vanessa mirrored them right back, sensing that Brooke was also nervous.

“I’m gonna keep this short and sweet, I know how excited you guys are,” Michelle spoke into the microphone, causing a hushed silence to come over the audience. “I just wanna say how happy I am to be up here today, and how incredibly proud I am of this team of women. This project has been a long time coming, y’all have no idea. It’s truly a labour of love by all of us involved, and a love letter to the LGBTQ community. I’m so thankful to all of you for showing out tonight and to our entire cast and crew for their hard work — this movie wouldn’t be what it is without every single one of you. So without further ado, may I present; _As The Stars Align.”_

Vanessa and Brooke discovered their assigned seats were next to each other anyway as they left the stage, Vanessa damn near orgasming when she saw that the selection of snacks and drinks they had ordered were already laid out for them.

As the commercials and trailers started rolling, Vanessa realised that Brooke was being more talkative than usual, rambling uncontrollably about anything and everything, and so Vanessa took over, knowing that if there was one thing she could do it was distract Brooke and make her laugh for a while.

When the movie started, Brooke gripped Vanessa’s hand tightly as if they were about to ride a rollercoaster, and Vanessa supposed that in a way, they were. It was Vanessa’s first major studio movie and her eyes should’ve been trained on the screen at all times, but she hated how often she found them drifting over to Brooke during the two hours. The warm palm squeezing hers didn’t make it any easier to concentrate.

There were moments that made her laugh, moments that made her cry, and kisses that stole her breath away. During those scenes especially, she found herself unable to resist glances at Brooke, who’s forward-facing stare was unwavering as she munched on her popcorn.

There was only one sex scene in the whole movie, and even calling it a sex scene was a stretch — it was mostly implied, and all they could get away with to keep the age rating down. But Vanessa was both dreading it and eagerly anticipating it, her entire body heating up as it grew closer.

When it arrived, Vanessa was entranced watching the way their lips slotted together, bodies pressed against one another in the glowing neon lighting of the bedroom. She was relieved that it was dark inside the theatre, hoping that Brooke couldn’t see the flush of her cheeks if she even dared look, praying that the hand that was still on hers wouldn’t detect her accelerating pulse. She didn’t risk a glimpse at Brooke this time, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself.

It was strange knowing that the rest of the theatre was seeing what she was seeing — it felt invasive that they even got to watch them like this nonetheless, and laughable that they didn’t understand that the scenes ran so much deeper than what the two characters were sharing.

Luckily, there was a lot of the movie left to go to give Vanessa time to recollect herself, and when it was over, she found herself bursting into applause alongside the rest of the audience.

She turned to Brooke, finally, who was absolutely beaming — as she deserved to be. Vanessa was confident in her performance, and she wasn’t sure if it was obvious to everyone else or just down to her own feelings getting in the way, but Brooke was clearly the star.

“It’s everything I hoped it’d be,” Brooke said, and Vanessa dabbed at the smudged mascara under her eyes before pulling her into a hug.

“It really is,” Vanessa replied softly.

There were a few short speeches on the stage, which Brooke and Vanessa guiltily whispered through, not able to contain their discussion of the movie and knowing that they would probably be let off this once.

The nerve-wracking part of the evening was over, and all they had left was the afterparty. Vanessa practically jumped out of her seat as soon as they were released from the theatre, dying to let off some steam.

—

Brooke was pretty sure she was having the best day of her life.

The movie had been amazing. She usually hated watching herself on screen, but during _As The Stars Align_ , something enabled her to just become completely immersed in the film. Instead of cringing, she was proud that all of her acting choices had come across as she intended.

In the car on the way back to the hotel, everyone was on a high from the amazing reception they’d received for the movie, and Brooke was content to just listen to Vanessa rattling off her favourite parts.

Most of the more casually dressed invitees stayed in the party area, already helping themselves to the buffet, but Brooke and Vanessa went upstairs to get changed, not wanting to wear their ballgowns for the rest of the night.

“Bitch, how many fits did you bring?!” Vanessa cried at the many options laid out on Brooke’s bed.

“Like, four,” Brooke sighed.

“This one’s hot, mama —” Vanessa pointed to a black mesh turtleneck and red bodycon skirt combo, and that was all the convincing Brooke needed.

Vanessa herself opted for a white mesh t-shirt dress and black heels that laced the entire way up to her thighs, and Brooke wondered how she managed to look a million times sexier than her in just a baggy top and some strappy shoes.

Once they were finished changing and touching up their makeup, they headed downstairs, the party now in full swing. There were even claps and cheers when they made their entrances as they were suddenly bombarded with hugs and free drinks.

“I’d like to raise a toast to these two incredible ladies,” Michelle raised her glass of champagne slightly tipsily, the rest of the guests following her lead. “I don’t even need to say anything ‘cause y’all already saw. They did _that_ , everybody! _To Brooke and Vanessa._ ” Everyone echoed Michelle’s toast before downing their drinks.

Brooke spotted Nina from the other side of the room, who gave her a smile and a wink as if to say _let’s talk later, when everything’s calmed down._

The next hour was a whirlwind of people approaching Brooke and Vanessa, providing their congratulations, and Brooke was both flattered and overwhelmed at all the attention.

“And here we have the evil masterminds themselves,” Katya grinned, greeting Brooke and Vanessa with half-hugs as Trixie held onto her hand. “You women are gonna snatch those Oscars faster than I snatched this pussy,” she laughed, giving Trixie a peck.

“Seriously guys, if I had a movie like that growing up, life would’ve been a little easier for sure,” Trixie smiled, “especially as you made it all so believable.”

Brooke tried not to overthink Trixie’s comment; they were actresses, and good ones at that. Of course their performance was believable.

“Thanks, Trix,” Vanessa chuckled. “Y’all know we ain’t the ones to thank. It’s yourses baby,” she gestured to Katya.

Asia came up to them a few minutes later.

“I’m so proud of you both,” she gushed, giving them warm hugs. “And you should be proud of yourselves, too. To think when this all started, y’all hated each other,” Asia laughed.

Brooke and Vanessa smirked at each other, and Brooke thanked God that they had gotten over their little feud, allowing Vanessa to become one of the most important people in her life. Even if she wasn’t quite sure what place she would hold going forwards.

They still hadn’t talked about last night. Maybe Vanessa had forgotten they’d ever said what they’d said. All Brooke knew was that things felt so damn right today, and she didn’t want to be the one to go and mess things up. She’d already done too much of that.

When A’keria and Silky came over and gave Vanessa perhaps the biggest embrace she’d ever witnessed, Brooke couldn’t help but smile widely, forever grateful that Vanessa had two people as supportive as them in her life.

“Well well well, Miss Brooke Lynn. Long time no see,” Silky declared. Brooke had only met her briefly in passing once or twice, at some party or another, but she knew that the woman was a good time.

“Hi, Silky. Hi A’keria,” Brooke giggled at Vanessa’s delighted expression at the three of them coming together.

“Good job on the movie, girl,” A’keria praised her sincerely, and Brooke noticed she was a little wobbly on her feet.

“I’m so glad you guys could make it and support Ness —” Brooke didn’t miss the way A’keria’s eyebrows shot up and Silky side-eyed Vanessa in response.

“Bitch, of course we here, now let’s get both of y’all drunk,” exclaimed Silky.

“I guess I’ll leave you to it,” Brooke told Vanessa, not wanting to overstay her welcome.

“Don’t be silly, you one of us now,” Silky said adamantly.

“We want to get to know the famous Brooke Lynn Hytes that Vanessa’s told us so much about.” Vanessa glared at A’keria, who simply shrugged and muttered _its true_ back. “Besides, you’ve earned a night to fully let loose. So first round’s on me.”

“Kiki, don’t do that, they the rich ones,” Silky protested, and bickered briefly with A’keria, who insisted she was also a highly successful and well-off businesswoman, _thank you very much._

“You learn to put up with it,” Vanessa quipped as Silky and A’keria went off to get their drinks.

“Hey, I’m not complaining. They seem like a riot,” Brooke said truthfully.

“Oh, that they are. Tonight’s about to be some messy shit, bitch, just you wait.”

—

Brooke was extremely drunk.

Okay, not _extremely_ drunk. Not about-to-vomit or already-passed-out level drunk.

But drunk enough that she felt bold and brave and like she could blurt out anything incriminating at any second.

Which is why her last rational thought had told her to get away from Vanessa. She’d bolted from the table she shared with her, A’keria and Silky, too dazed and frantic to even offer an explanation or check for Vanessa’s reaction.

Somehow, she’d found herself in a seemingly secluded part of the first floor, a lounge area between the party room and the seriously swanky bathrooms, and the only people she was interrupting were Scarlet and Yvie, cuddling and kissing on one of the sofas.

“Look who it is,” Yvie grinned, noticing Brooke almost immediately.

“Sorry, I — I should go,” Brooke mumbled, hiccuping slightly.

“No, stay! Please!” Scarlet said enthusiastically.

“Get your ass over here, girl,” Yvie beckoned Brooke forwards.

Brooke sat on one of the chairs next to Yvie and Scarlet’s couch, feeling super sensitive to the little displays of affection they were showing each other — a hair stroke here, a thigh squeeze there, even their eyes seemed to convey so much emotion.

“Tell us what’s on your mind,” Scarlet commanded, her voice full of sympathy.

“You not gonna congratulate me first?” Brooke slurred slightly, but already feeling slightly sobered up by the sombre change of mood.

“I’m sure you’ve heard that a thousand times tonight. You seem like you need something else right now. What’s up with you these days?”

“But good job, by the way,” Yvie interrupted. “That was killer.”

Brooke laughed, but felt a pang in her chest as she tried to think of an answer to Scarlet’s question.

“You guys are so adorable.”

“We are pretty adorable,” Yvie agreed.

“That’s what you’re thinking about?” Scarlet frowned, before her expression became teasing. “If you wanted a threesome, you only had to ask.”

“It’s not that,” Brooke sighed theatrically, resting her chin in her hands. “Y’all are just so cute. When am I gonna find someone like how y’all found each other?”

“Brooke, I didn’t even know you wanted— ”

“Who am I kidding, I know I’ve found the one for me. Problem is, she doesn’t want me back. I just know it.”

Scarlet and Yvie shared a look, and Brooke rolled her eyes.

“Please, y’all don’t have to pretend like you don’t know nothing about it, I know you do. Everyone in this whole stupid perfect movie knows I’m head over heels for Vanessa. And probably everyone else in the state of California, and the city of London by now…” Brooke started sobbing softly, as if people knowing was the part that hurt.

She then picked up a glass of wine that she hoped one of the two girls in front of her had put down, and took a big swig.

“Brooke —” Scarlet started, but Brooke had to get it all out, even if the sniffling and the tears were making it hard.

“I just want her so badly, you know. Y’all know how it is, obviously, that’s how you got to doing this with each other. And that’s what I want with ‘Nessa. I just wanna be her girlfriend, and to kiss her and hold her hand and — I— I don’t know what to do —”

_“Do you really feel that way?”_

Brooke heard a voice from behind her and froze when she identified it immediately. She turned around, seeing Vanessa’s shocked face under the dim lights, and felt herself breaking down. This time, it would be really over.

She buried her face in her hands, but before she knew it, she felt an arm around her and looked up to see that Scarlet and Yvie were gone.

“Shhh, shhh,” Vanessa whispered soothingly, Brooke barely making out her face through her glassy eyes, and so she wiped them aggressively, faint tear streaks on Vanessa’s face then coming into view amongst a hundred other beautiful little details.

“I’m sorry,” Brooke said softly, unable to draw her eyes away from Vanessa despite her shame.

“Don’t be sorry. Brooke, did you really mean all that?” Vanessa asked.

Brooke considered lying, but even she wasn’t that great of an actor.

“Yes. Every word.”

Vanessa’s eyes went wide, and then misty, and suddenly she was smiling.

“Brooke, I — I feel the same way.”

“You do?” Brooke gasped.

“Yeah. For so long, you have no idea. I… I like you, so much, Brooke, it’s killin’ me.”

Brooke was gobsmacked, watching in awe as Vanessa climbed into her lap, began stroking her hair and face.

“Can I kiss you now, mami?” Vanessa asked gently.

“Please do,” Brooke begged breathlessly, pulling Vanessa’s head down so that their lips could meet.

They’d shared amazing kisses before, but the brand new context of this one — that their feelings were mutual, that they were on the same page, that they might even be a couple — made it absolutely perfect. It was both hard and soft, both passionate and emotional, full of want and full of _love,_ even if they hadn’t said it yet. Vanessa’s hands and body and lips on hers were the best things she’d ever felt.

It was out of this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is over... or is it? Mwah ha ha


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Hope y'all are good and staying safe :)
> 
> Idk if anyone remembers this story, but I really just wanted to finish it! There'll be just one more chapter after this, and then an epilogue that may be v short or v long lol, we'll see how it goes.
> 
> Also, Black Lives Matter and I really want to encourage anyone who hasn't yet to check out the following resources -- https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co -- research, educate, sign petitions and donate if you can!
> 
> Please enjoy this -- it's been a while so I hope it isn't too rough!

The following morning, Vanessa was on cloud nine.

Her and Brooke had finally confessed their feelings to one another, and spent the night together. It felt like nothing could bring them down.

“Morning, B,” Vanessa grinned as Brooke opened her eyes sleepily.

“Morning, beautiful,” Brooke hummed sleepily.

Vanessa bounced out of bed and made cups of coffee for the both of them, before ordering room service — she didn’t know what Brooke liked to eat for breakfast, and so she ordered a platter for the two of them to share.

She wanted to make a good impression. Brooke had already told Scarlet how she wanted to be Vanessa’s girlfriend, but Vanessa knew that she shouldn’t get ahead of herself like she always did and assume that they were now a thing, or that Brooke Lynn would even want to be now she was no longer in a tipsy haze, intoxicated by the magic and romance of premiere night.

Brooke was beginning to stir and sit up. Vanessa looked on, enthralled at the casual glamour of Brooke first thing in the morning, wondering if she would look like a model to everyone or just her. The blonde woman reached for her phone, throwing it down with a huff when she seemed to realise it was dead, and with nothing else to occupy her, met Vanessa’s eyes.

Vanessa smiled brightly, realising she’d been staring and not knowing what else to do. Brooke looked shyer than Vanessa had seen her, like she was caught off guard at being the centre of someone’s attention.

“How d’you feel?” Vanessa asked thoughtfully, clambering back into bed and cosying over to Brooke’s side, wanting to be close while keeping a little space between them.

“Good,” Brooke said, sending Vanessa chills as she tucked dark curls behind her ears. “Hungover.”

Vanessa laughed; she’d been able to sleep off most of the effects of her drinking, but it seemed that Brooke had not been so lucky.

“Last night was…” Brooke was smirking gently, but didn’t finish her thought.

“Perfect. Everything,” Vanessa gushed, trying to pour all the emotion she felt into the way she was looking at Brooke and cradling her face.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Comin’ Mary!” Vanessa practically shrieked booping Brooke on the nose as she went to get their breakfast.

There was more food then Vanessa had been expecting, and she felt a little silly as she wheeled in the two-layer trolley that offered more choice than a Pizza Hut buffet.

“What’s all this?” Brooke’s eyes were genuinely bulging at the display before her, though Vanessa was sure she was just being polite, that she’d seen far grander meals in her years of being an international star.

“Oh I, uh — I wanted to do something romantic, y’know,” Vanessa blushed, toying with the lids of the dishes, taking a peak at everything there was. “Also I’m hungry, bitch.” Vanessa pulled the trolley to the end of their bed and grabbed two plates, passing one to Brooke and filling hers with everything that looked appealing.

—

Brooke was still half-asleep, and breakfast with Vanessa was already a more domestic situation than any other situation Brooke had ever found herself in.

She was overwhelmed. She didn’t know how to repay the favour, didn’t know how to make it up to her. Maybe it was the tired, hungover mood talking, but Brooke was feeling less cut out for this type of relationship than ever.

The food was good at least, but Brooke didn’t feel like she could fully appreciate it with the way her head was throbbing and stomach was lurching.

“Can we talk about last night, baby?” Vanessa started, and Brooke felt heat surge in her at the nickname, her mind wanting to shut down the inevitable conversation straight away, but her body not allowing her to take that step — something that seemed to spur Vanessa on, as she grinned smugly at the apparently visible effect that she was having on her.

“Can we do it later?” Brooke replied, with less conviction than she actually felt, her thoughts occupied by the memory of _Last Night_.

“I just gotta get this off my chest,” Vanessa pleaded with her. Brooke nodded at her to go ahead, praying she looked less anxious than she felt.

“Brooke Lynn, I… I want you to know that last night was really, really special to me. ‘Cause I already told you how my last relationship didn’t end too well, uh, that it turned pretty toxic by the end. And that really fucked with me and my ideas about, well. You know.”

Vanessa’s eyes were searching as she paused nervously. Brooke swallowed, suffocated by how vulnerable Vanessa was being and how real this all was.

“And yeah, it just fucked me up a lot, not just the way it ended, but the realisation that I’d wasted years of my life with someone that didn’t come close to making me feel in years what you’d made me feel in months, probably weeks if we bein’ honest. And I was okay, but if it’d happened with you B, I don’t think I would’ve been. One thing you gotta know about me is that I’m a romantic at heart and… I know that you and I, it’s the real deal. Like, you’re the kind of person I’ve wished for forever since I was a kid and acting out my wedding in front of my Abuela. But I have to know that you agree, that you’re gonna be all in on this goin’ forward, because I can’t just go back to playin’ games and acting like I’m not completely in love with you.”

Brooke was stunned, and she didn’t know what scared her most: everything that Vanessa had just said, or the fact that she was looking up at her like she’d dropped a feather and not the huge bomb that was leaving Brooke Lynn reeling.

“Brooke, say something.”

Brooke tried, but her mouth was dry, her palms sweaty.

“I’ve never been in a relationship.” Brooke spoke finally in a small voice, relieved with how even she managed to keep it nonetheless.

Vanessa’s brows were furrowed, her already misty eyes beginning to stream.

“You said you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

“Did I?” Brooke protested weakly, and she felt cruel, even though she genuinely couldn’t remember. The whole night was a bit of a blur, and her memories may have been fuzzy, but it didn’t matter. It was true whether she’d said it or not.

It was the truth, but that didn’t change the fact that she was new to this, that she wanted to go slow and take it step by step. What she could comfortably offer wouldn’t be enough for Vanessa and she knew it. It wouldn’t be enough for what Brooke believed Vanessa deserved, let alone would it match what Vanessa desired from the way she was describing. She deserved the world, a fairytale, the best romcom ever written, and it was setting in that Brooke’s fears and doubts would only be a burden on her. She didn’t want to be another disappointment; didn’t want her legacy in Vanessa’s life to be someone who dashed all of her hopes and dreams for love.

Vanessa’s face was red now, either with embarrassment at seemingly having misread the situation, or out of straight up anger. Brooke decided she couldn’t bear to stay and find out which it was, or if it was even both.

“I should go.”

“B, please don’t run from this.” Vanessa was the prettiest crier Brooke had ever seen, and as she took Brooke’s hand in her own, Brooke almost felt herself give in.

“I’m sorry, V. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.”

—

It was Christmas, and Brooke hadn’t seen Vanessa since London.

Nina had scolded her for days once she’d found out what she’d done. A’keria and Silky had both unfollowed her on Instagram, though Brooke would check everyday (sometimes twice) to see whether she still had Vanessa’s follow, and so far, she did. It was funny how she had millions of followers, and yet she only cared about one.

She supposed it didn’t mean anything though.

The fans and the press had the eyes of hawks, and no doubt if Vanessa unfollowed her it would be tabloid news soon enough, or at the very least become a lively discussion between the twitter shippers. Brooke knew that they’d probably follow each other until the end of the world, if only to avoid the two of them falling into the actress rivalry stereotype that the media were so keen to push. Or at least, they’d wait for many years, until their time as co-stars was simply a distant association.

It didn’t feel right to Brooke, that that was what would happen. That their friendship would become nothing but a collection of behind the scenes videos and red carpet interviews that people would one day come across while falling down a youtube rabbit hole; their flirtatious moments forever frozen in time as photos and gifs that would make people wonder, decades from now.

—

Vanessa was spending Christmas in New York City with her family. She knew if she stayed in LA, the risk of colliding with Brooke at some superficial Hollywood holiday party was too great, so when they phoned her one night talking about how much they missed her, she jumped at the opportunity to see them again.

It was weird to be home after so long — for the first time since before she’d even been cast on _As The Stars Align_ , before her breakup with Matt, before she met Brooke. She felt like she was living a double life, and her short time as a celebrity almost felt like it had never happened. She might’ve been a blossoming star in LA, but in the Manhattan apartment she’d treated her parents to, she was just an annoying daughter and sister in a crazy family.

Being with the people she loved truly did help take her mind off of things. By Boxing Day, she’d only thought about phoning Brooke twice, texting her five times (usually when she saw a meme that reminded her of her, or a conversation they’d had), and okay, maybe she’d stalked her Instagram enough times to lose track, but Vanessa was a visual person and Brooke’s feed was really, really nice, to people who weren’t in love with her as well, Vanessa was sure of it. Even so, Brooke remained on the peripheral of her thoughts, Vanessa’s fluctuating feelings on their relationship status often determining her mood and seeping into everything she did.

Towards the end of December, though, she began to get restless and tired of the empty days that followed Christmas and preluded New Years, where there was nothing much to do except watch movies and eat leftovers and play board games in pyjamas. As much as she loved New York, she felt a world away from her new home, and was feeling some definite FOMO at the snapchats of Silky and A’keria live it up without her.

“You should go out tonight, mija,” Vanessa’s mother instructed her on New Year's Eve, and it did admittedly seem like a more appealing idea than watching the ball drop in Times Square for the umpteenth time.

Vanessa wasn’t even sure whether she even had any friends still living in New York. It didn’t make her feel sad — she knew she had all the people she needed in the apartment she currently stood in, and back in LA. She wasn’t the usual type to go on nights out alone, but she as she scrolled through Brooke’s Instagram story again, taking in all the new glamorous group photos with people probably a lot more important than Vanessa, she decided she would go into the New Year boldly and without regrets.

Maybe a night out by herself would be exactly what she needed.

—

There were no two ways about it at this point — Vanessa was desperate to get laid.

She dug up her sexiest, slinkiest dress — a silver chainmail number — from the back of her closet, a relic from her pre-fame days that probably cost about fifty dollars, but still looked killer on her, and slipped into her highest diamanté heels. She even decided to wear a wavy blonde lace-front that had been one of the first things she’d bought with her first Hollywood pay-check because she’d just loved it so much. She hadn’t found much use for it, but was grateful for it now, and the chance that it might be able to grant her a degree of anonymity for the night.

At around ten, she caught a cab to a club and quickly found herself dancing with a tall, model-like girl with red hair. She learnt that her name was Gigi, and she wasn’t really Vanessa’s type, though she supposed that her pale skin and strong jaw kind of made her look like Brooke if she squinted hard enough.

“Pick a table, I’ll fetch us some drinks,” Gigi shouted over the bass, before strutting off with a seductive smile.

Ten minutes later, Gigi returned with some Mojitos in tow, and the two perched on stools as they sipped their drinks, their faces close, few words being exchanged.

“What brings you here alone?” Gigi questioned her eventually.

“Tryna get over someone,” Vanessa confessed; she was loose-lipped on a regular day, let alone when she had cocktails on top of pre-drinks in her system.

“Me too,” Gigi sighed.

“An ex?”

“Yeah, her name’s Crystal. I really miss her. What about you?”

“Not an ex anything, really. Just… someone.” Vanessa had introduced herself to the other girl as simply Vanjie, and she didn’t want to give anything away about her own identity, or worse, her famous almost-had-been-girlfriend. She knew it would be a stretch for someone to make the assumption that it was Brooke she was hung up on, even if they did recognise Vanessa, but there was no harm in keeping on the safe side. Who knew, this girl could be an undercover reporter for a lesbian site just dying to get the scoop on Brooke Lynn Hytes’ elusive love life.

They elapsed into a candid conversation that was nowhere near as electric as the kind of encounter Vanessa had been hoping to enjoy tonight. If there had been any kind of spark, the sombre topic of discussion had made sure to put it out.

As it approached half eleven, another girl nearby caught Vanessa’s eye; she had dark thick hair and was wearing a tiny mini dress that showed off long, slightly tanned legs. She was very chatty and smiley and Vanessa’s sights were set.

“You should go talk to her,” Gigi smiled. Vanessa protested, tried to deny that she was even thinking of it, when Gigi cut her off, claiming she “had to make a phone call anyway.”

Vanessa stood up, slightly wobbly, and hovered around the girl’s table, trying to be subtle as she sipped her drink, unsure how to proceed. Soon enough, she was noticed, and the dark-haired beauty pat the seat next to her, welcoming her to sit down.

Two of the other women in the group took that as their cue to go to the bathroom, whereas a girl with a lavender ponytail immediately began gushing and insisted she buy Vanessa a beverage, leaving Vanessa alone with the object of her affection, whom she quickly found out went by the name Jackie.

“You’re so cute,” Vanessa blurted with a pout following a few minutes of exchanging pleasantries. Jackie blushed, thanking her.

“I’m serious. Are you taken, mama? You have a man?”

“No, but that’s my girlfriend. Her name’s Jan,” Jackie giggled, pointing to the lilac-haired girl returning with the alcohol. Vanessa sighed. Soon the other two in the group — their friends Jaida and Nicky, another couple — returned, leaving Vanessa feeling more single and sad and mad at Brooke than ever.

Against her better judgement, she decided to spill all of this to her new friends, careful to leave out Brooke’s name while also portraying her in perhaps a less flattering light than she had truly warranted, but Vanessa didn’t care. She was pissed, in more ways than one. All four women listened attentively, Jaida interrupting her with the occasional chile whenever the story got particularly juicy.

“What a bitch,” Nicky deadpanned conclusively after Vanessa finished explaining her situation.

“Honestly, gorg, fuck her. I mean, don’t _fuck_ her,” Jan weighed in.

“I have to agree,” Jackie said with a nod. “She sounds like she doesn’t know what she wants and it’s not fair on you, you can do so much better Vanjie.”

The next thing Vanessa knew, the New Year was only a few minutes away. She groaned as the couples next to her began cuddling up to each other, deciding she couldn’t stick around to see this much romance in action.

Having came off of reliving her and Brooke’s entire relationship all over again, Vanessa’s blood was practically boiling. She was annoyed, defeated, and ready to call it a night, when she caught Gigi looking just as lonely from a few feet over.

Vanessa stormed in her direction, at a speed that probably would’ve drawn more eyes her way had everyone not been too preoccupied by the countdown. Gigi looked surprised, but the good kind of surprised.

“You wanna be my midnight kiss?” Vanessa asked, feeling like she had nothing to lose by being forward at this point.

Gigi nodded, and seconds later their faces were pressed together, Vanessa attempting to put all of her frustration with Brooke into the fiery kiss with Gigi. It left her hot and breathless and her head completely empty of Brooke for once.

“Wanna get out of here?” Gigi whispered against her ear.

“Fuck yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops :)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments (even if it's just a few words) are much appreciated! I'm @ rujubees on tumblr, feel free to share your thoughts with me over there too :)


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